Armpit of America

A blog about New Jersey, the state we love to hate!

Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

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Posted by armpitofamerica on June 8, 2010

Well I’m back from vacation.  After spending a week in California, it’s great to be back in the Armpit of America.    Now that I’m back, you can expect me to post more regularly.  And you can expect a couple entries comparing New Jersey to that state on the west coast in the near future.  Who needs California and its beautiful scenery, laid back atmosphere, and readily available medical marijuana anyway?

Now onto some other stuff.  About two weeks ago, I got an e-mail from someone at a PR company.  She told me that her company is launching a new website and a campaign aimed at defending New Jersey from all the bullying it falls victim to.  The name of the campaign?  “Jersey Doesn’t Stink.”  Naturally, I assumed this was all a joke.  Who in their right mind would spend the time to create  a website defending the Armpit of America (aside from me, of course).

Well, I was just notified that the site has launched and it is indeed real.  It contains a petition to stand up for our little state.  There’s also a hilarious video in which this guy walks around New York City asking people how they feel about New Jersey.  So if you love New Jersey as much as I do, then go check out Jersey Doesn’t Stink and join their fight.

Posted in Personal, Random | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Stuff

Posted by armpitofamerica on May 29, 2010

I meant to put up a new entry this week, but that didn’t pan out.  Instead, you can read my entry on the Jersey City pimp again!  Unfortunately, I won’t be able to update for another week, as I’m going on a much needed vacation today.  (However, there is a chance a guest blogger will post a new entry; stay tuned.)

Anyway, I’ll be heading out of state (shocking, I know).  But as much as I love New Jersey, it’s good to get away every now and then.  Although, whenever I’m in another state, I come appreciate the Armpit of America even more.  What makes California so special anyway, compared to New Jersey?  Well you can find out with a new State vs. State entry at some point after my return.

Now for some more self-promotion!  If you like what you read here, you can subscribe to this blog by putting your e-mail address in the box to the right.  As soon as I post new entries, you can read them in right in your e-mail.  Also, you can follow me on Twitter @armpitnj and visit my YouTube channel.

Well that’s it for today.  We’re about to head out on the Turnpike to go to Newark Liberty Airport.  Wish me luck – I’ll need it.

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Winter in New Jersey Sucks!

Posted by armpitofamerica on February 4, 2010

What the hell is up with weather in New Jersey this winter?  Our state is going to be barraged by up to two feet of snow this weekend.  Yeah, I know some other states are gonna have it worse, but those states don’t matter.  Is Maryland even a state?  I forget sometimes.

Anyway, this will be the third snowstorm to hit the Armpit of America this season.  And it is the third snowstorm that will occur on a Saturday.  And this is the third weekend where the weather has ruined my plans.

I was all set to go to Atlantic City yet again.  If you’ve kept up with this blog, you’d know that I spend all the important holidays in AC, like Halloween, Christmas, and the Saturday After Martin Luther King Day.  Well, I was all set to celebrate the Weekend Before Valentine’s Day in Atlantic City, but now those plans have been canceled.  Thanks a lot, you worthless cumulus clouds!

According to that stupid groundhog out in Pennsylvania, we have six more weeks of winter.  One weekend of those six is already ruined.  Let’s hope the other five are okay.  If not, I say it’s groundhog hunting season out in our neighbor to the left.  Who’s with me?

By the way, you can follow me on Twitter @armpitnj!  And you can get my latest blog entries right in your e-mail by subscribing up in the left hand corner!

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The Saturday After Martin Luther King Day in Atlantic City

Posted by armpitofamerica on January 25, 2010

Atlantic City - even the murals in the bathrooms are sleazy...

After visiting Atlantic City on Halloween and Christmas, I decided to continue the trend of spending each holiday in that shithole of a place. And what could be a more important day than the Saturday after Martin Luther King Day? This sure sounds like someone with a gambling problem looking for any excuse to cover up their random trips to AC. But, I had a very valid reason for going this time – a friend’s birthday.

I had some out-of-state family business to take care of in the days prior to this one. Yet, a mere couple hours after getting off the plane in Newark, I was on the Garden State Parkway heading towards AC. Okay, maybe I do have a gambling problem.

Soon after arriving at Caesars, we walked around the Pier, which is high-end version of the typical Jersey mall – only this one is built right above the ocean. In addition, the Pier is somewhat well known for its dancing fountains, which is a (very) poor man’s version of those found at the Bellagio in Vegas. Only in the Armpit of America can a stupid fountain in the shape of a toilet (seriously, it is) be a major tourist attraction.

Following birthday cupcakes and cookies in our hotel room, it was time to hit the casino. After putting $20 in a nickel slot and playing for 10 minutes, I was only down four bucks, which is better than I usually do. Anyway, it was then time to go to the bar. On this night, we went to Game On, an ESPN-owned sports bar on the aforementioned Pier.

This was only my second time at Game On, but it is probably my favorite place to hang out at Atlantic City. Though I’m admittedly not a huge sports fan, those that are can be entertained by countless TVs all around the place showing every game imaginable. And those mechanical bull aficionados, like me, will be happy to know that you can ride one for only $2. In addition to the two bucks, you have to sign a waiver saying you won’t hold the place accountable if you die. But those 5 seconds you’re on the bull before getting thrown off and having everyone laugh at you is definitely worth it.

Another draw is the bathroom. Upon entering, you’ll meet that lovely lady in the picture at the top of this entry. In addition, the spaces right above the urinals have little TVs built right into the wall! Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Atlantic City, Bars, Personal | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Christmas in Atlantic City

Posted by armpitofamerica on December 31, 2009

Atlantic City. Just those words conjure up such a mix of emotions for me, and likely, a lot of other people. I always get excited when the opportunity arises to take that drive down the Garden State Parkway to the poor man’s Las Vegas. Whenever I leave the city, though, I am full of regret, disappointment, and disgust.

It’s like I’m in an abusive relationship. The Atlantic City lures me down with promises of lavish gifts. I go and then get punched around, lose my money, lose my hope, and lose my lust for life. When I can finally pull myself away from the casino, I feel dirty and taken advantage of. I vow never to return; doing so would just make me a sadomasochist. A couple months later, Atlantic City will send me flowers (or actually just some coupons promising me five bucks in slot money) and I’ll come running back into its abusive arms. This past Christmas was no different.

You may be surprised that I would want to spend my Christmas in such a disgusting place. Don’t worry, I’m Jewish. Christmas is just a free day off from work for me and an excuse to eat Chinese food. For the last few years, it has also been an excuse to go down to Atlantic City with a bunch of Jews for Christmas Eve. As a matter of fact, I spent Halloween there too. Yeah, maybe I have a gambling problem. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Atlantic City, Personal | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

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