The Soon-To-Be-Former New Jersey Nets

So you call yourselves The Nets but have Saturn on your logo?

For those who haven’t heard, or heard but don’t care, New Jersey’s basketball team, The Nets, is moving to Brooklyn. Admittedly, I’m not much of a basketball fan. Hell, I’ll make a full confession – I’m not really a fan of any sport. But even I couldn’t ignore this event.

The Armpit of America doesn’t contribute much to the world of professional sports. Once the soon-to-be-former New Jersey Nets leave, we’ll only have The Devils to carry the banner of our sad state. While the Devils may have a better record than the Nets, I’m sure there are even fewer people following the NHL than the dismal number who watch the NBA. But I digress.

While some people may be sad, I think the majority of New Jerseyans don’t give a shit. Many, such as myself, probably forgot that we even have a professional basketball team. I think that’s mainly because our team has such a stupid name. Think about it: “The Nets.” They’re named after a piece of equipment used to play basketball. Could they be any less creative? You don’t see any football teams named “The Goalposts” do you?

Granted, the aforementioned Devils got the best name for a Jersey sports team, named after our local legend. But there are plenty of other Jersey-centric things to name a team after. Like The New Jersey Overweight Governors…or The New Jersey Guidos…or The New Jersey Turnpikes… I guarantee if our basketball team had any of these names, they would have a much larger following and wouldn’t be in such a rush to leave the state.

I kind of feel bad for the Nets though. They obviously don’t get the attention and love that most other sports teams get from their home states. In fact, people in New Jersey are more passionate about the teams of New York and Philadelphia than our own.

But the move does make some sense. Millions of people grow up feeling unloved, worthless, and neglected in this indifferent state. So what do they do? They move out and hope to hit it big somewhere else. Maybe that’s just what the Nets are doing. Since the New York Knicks are more popular in Jersey than the Nets ever were, moving to that state might just do them some good. And, once they become the Brooklyn Nets, the team will probably have more Jersey fans than they did when they were playing at the Meadowlands.

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One Comment on “The Soon-To-Be-Former New Jersey Nets”

  1. Hey man, don’t bash the Devils! Funny stuff, I can’t believe they’re moving to Brooklyn, but I agree with you that no one ever paid attention to the Nets. I also thought it was crazy to move the Devils to Newark, but whatever.

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