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Jon Bon Jovi or Jersey girl? I'm still not sure.

If you hang out at bars at the Jersey Shore, you’re bound to come across at least one of many bands making their living off of other people’s songs. While they may have their own musical aspirations, no record company is knocking at the door with a big advance. So, they settle for cover gigs at the shore, where they play inferior versions of popular songs to indifferent audiences.

Don’t get me wrong; I do enjoy the Jersey Shore cover bands, which are primarily made up of a bunch of 20-or-30-something year-old guys, usually along with one heavy-set, middle-aged man on bass. They make for a fun evening, no matter which shore bar, from Atlantic Highlands all the way down to Cape May, you might find yourself in. Who wouldn’t want to hear a band play a bunch of classics that everyone knows, rather than a crappy band that plays their own stuff?

Despite my fondness for Jersey Shore cover bands, I do have one point of contention with them. THEY ALL PLAY THE SAME SONGS! No matter which band you see, you’re more than likely to hear all of the five songs below. While not necessarily bad songs, you easily get sick of hearing them all summer long.

So, if any member, manager, or groupie (ha, yeah right!) of a Jersey Shore cover band is reading this, please get your band to stop playing these songs:

1. “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard

Maybe it’s just me, but this song, more than the rest on the list, just seems so dated. Whenever I hear it, I can’t help but think of some trashy 80s Jersey mall girls bopping their hairspray-hardened coifs around to this song. See? “Pour Some Sugar on Me” even makes this crusader against the negative Jersey stereotype actually buy into it.

2. “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi

“Living on a Prayer” has now made its second appearance on one of my Top 5 lists. Though not a bad song by any means, it is definitely overplayed. Overplayed on the radio, and overplayed by Jersey Shore cover bands. Sure, it’s pretty much the Armpit of America’s unofficial anthem. But, for these bands to play it every single night is just plain overkill.

3. “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick

What’s the one thing that’s worse than writing a song that just has the same lines over and over again? That’s right, covering a song that just has the same lines over and over again. There’s just no reason why this song needs to be covered. And if you want proof, just check out Lindsay Lohan’s horrible version. Why would Jersey Shore cover bands want to cover the same stuff as that trash-hole trainwreck?

4. “Your Love” by Outfield

It starts with the singer straining to sing in falsetto the infamous first line: “Josie’s on a vacation far away!” And it just gets worse from there. During the chorus, you can expect a crowded bar-load of people screaming along to “I don’t wanna lose your love, toniiii-iiight!” No matter which band is playing, they’ll always stop for the word “tonight,” leaving it to the crowds to fill in. Well, that little trick, along with the entire song, has been played too much. Here’s hoping Josie never comes back.

5. “American Girl” by Tom Petty

This is the least offensive song on the list, but I still get sick of hearing it every time I’m at a bar with a cover band. What makes it worse is how all the loud, obnoxious Jersey girls get all into it thinking, “Oh my God, this song is totally about me!” Meanwhile, they wouldn’t even know Tom Petty from Tom Arnold.

What songs do you think Jersey Shore cover bands need to stop playing???

This entry was posted on July 7, 2010 at 7:27 am and is filed under Bars, Jersey Shore, Music, Top 5. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Bars, cover bands, Jersey Shore, Lindsay Lohan, Music