Dave Coulier Walks into the Armpit of America…and Stinks!
At around 4:30 last Tuesday afternoon, a friend informed me that Dave Coulier, best and only known as Joey from Full House, would be performing stand-up at Brookdale Community College. It’s not every day that an actor from what I shamefully admit is one of my favorite shows ever is only a half hour away from me. So I dropped whatever plans I had that night, got a group of friends together, and hustled on over to Brookdale.
Though half of my high school went to Brookdale Community College (the other half, including me, went to Rutgers), I had never been on the campus. It was pretty confusing finding our way around. Though we parked in this big parking lot in the middle of the campus, there weren’t many signs showing which building was which. And once we found the building, we had to walk through its labyrinthine halls to find the room where he was performing.
While I thought the show would have been in an auditorium or gym, it was actually in this small conference room. There were only about 150 seats, many of which remained unfilled. Though the website said it would cost $5 for non-Brookdale students, it turned out to be free. It’s kinda sad. His Full House cohort Bob Saget can sell out auditoriums, but the best Dave Coulier can do is a free show at a college – a community college, no less.
Having seen the show, that $0 admission fee was definitely worth the price. Actually, I think Dave Coulier should have paid me to be there. Though he had a couple good jokes, most of his routine was pretty lame. For example, he spent a few minutes talking about how his 80-year-old father doesn’t understand computers and then discussed how his teenage son keeps his hand on his crotch and plays video games all day. Such groundbreaking stuff this guy has! He also talked about how Porky Pig wears a vest but no pants. Um, didn’t another comedian make the same joke about Donald Duck?
Dave Coulier is famous for his impressions. Just watch any rerun of Full House, and you’ll see what I mean. But, on this night, he only did like two. One of which was Bullwinkle, a voice he often performed on Full House. Well, Dave, no one cared about Bullwinkle in 1989, and even less people care about him now.
Overall, his act was very disconnected. He went from one idea to another, without any underlying theme. It just seemed so amateurish, despite the fact that Dave Coulier (who made sure to mention this a couple times) has been doing standup for over 30 years. I could tell that he was desperate for laughs as soon as he started making marijuana jokes. If you’re on a college campus and your act isn’t going over so well, of course some pot jokes will liven things up.
I was pretty disappointed that he didn’t talk about Full House at all. Aside from referring to Bob Saget as his “filthy Jewish sister” and shamelessly namedropping John Stamos, he said nothing about the show or his costars. You’d think that since Full House made him famous, and that’s the only reason people went out to see him, he’d talk more about it. I’ve seen Bob Saget’s standup act, and all he does is talk about Full House. He didn’t say anything about his tumultuous relationship with Alanis Morissette either.
Check out the clip below to get a sense of what I had to deal with:
When just mentioning John Stamos gives you your biggest applause of the night, that might mean you’re a redneck…or that it’s time to give up comedy.
As you can tell, the show was pretty much a letdown. But I’ll give compliments where they’re deserved. Dave Coulier looks a lot younger now than he ever did on Full House. He’s much thinner, his face has fewer wrinkles, and his nose somehow shrunk. But all that isn’t enough to make up for the dismal performance.
Even though it was free, I still want my money back. On the bright side, at least I got one step closer to my goal of seeing each member of the cast of Full House performing. I don’t think John Stamos does standup, so I guess I’ll have to try to get a hold of his alleged sex tape.