State vs. State: Delaware

I’m unveiling a new feature on the Armpit of America today: State vs. State. In these entries, I’ll be comparing New Jersey to another state in our great country to show you why New Jersey is better. While it may be difficult to convince you that New Jersey is better than some states, like Hawaii (which isn’t a real state anyway), others will be a lot easier, like Mississippi (who the hell would want to live there?).

For my first State vs. State entry, I’ll be comparing New Jersey to our frenemy to the south, Delaware.

I know some of you are already asking, “Dela-where?” This is completely understandable. For those unfamiliar, Delaware is a sliver of a state bordered on the north by Pennsylvania, the west and south by Maryland, and the east by Delaware Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. As a matter of fact, in 1787, Delaware became the first state to join the union, a fact that its residents can’t stop bragging about. Maybe if something – anything – interesting had happened in Delaware over the last 200 years, they would have something else to brag about.

In case you didn't know, DELAWARE WAS THE FIRST STATE!!!!

Say what you will about New Jersey, at least the state has an identity (albeit, the Armpit of America). Sure, people cringe when you tell them you’re from New Jersey. But I think it’s better for someone or something to have a bad reputation than no reputation at all. A common joke anyone from New Jersey is bound to hear when asked where they are from is, “You’re from New Jersey? Which exit?” Though playing on the assumption that the state is nothing but highway, at least this is a great conversation starter. When people hear that someone is from Delaware, that usually kills the conversation.

Delaware is definitely immune to much of the teasing that New Jersey gets. People love to make fun of the Armpit of America and say it is full of factories, pollution, corrupt politicians, the mafia, and shopping malls. Although New Jersey has a lot more to offer, these things are indeed abundant and known to people throughout the world. But what is known about Delaware? Does Delaware have its own identity? Is there a Delaware stereotype? Has anything good ever come out of Delaware?

Sure, our current Vice President comes from Delaware, giving the state a brief moment in the spotlight. Well, New Jersey’s got Delaware beat on this front as well. We’ve had two Presidents come from our state: Grover Cleveland and Woodrow Wilson.

Delaware is actually known for something else – its 0% sales tax. Though New Jersey is fortunate to have no sales tax on clothing, everything is tax-free in Delaware. Though some say that’s because the economy of the state is so good that they don’t need the extra revenue, I see things differently. Delaware’s decision not to have a sales tax is a pathetic attempt to trick people into visiting the state. Who in their right mind would wanna go there otherwise?

Delaware’s tax-free shopping has made it a famous stop along I-95 for those looking to stock up on cigarettes. I recall back in college people in my dorm planning cigarette runs down to the state just to get cartons without paying the taxes on them. Though a 0% sales tax is nice in theory, it only encourages people to smoke more. Way to go, Delaware! I’m surprised hasn’t done a commercial there yet.

The Delaware Memorial Bridge (AKA Sarah Palin's bridge to nowhere). Photo courtesy

Another thing. New Jersey is home to people of many different races, religions, and cultures. Delaware, at least from what I’ve seen, doesn’t seem to be very accepting of other people’s beliefs. And what do I base this on? Anyone driving into Delaware from New Jersey should know what I’m talking about. Shortly after going over the Delaware Memorial Bridge, you are greeted by a giant, white statue of Jesus that would put the one in Brazil to shame. Sorry Delaware, but not everyone fits under the Caucasian-Christian umbrella.

Despite the bad things about Delaware, I will give credit where credit is due. It seems like a nice, if not a little boring, place to live. The University of Delaware is an excellent school (even though they put me on the waiting list…). Though I have never been to Delaware’s beaches, I hear they are beautiful, and I’m sure they’re a lot cleaner than the ones found in New Jersey. But for all the reasons outlined above, New Jersey is a much better state.

Have anything to add to the Delaware/New Jersey debate? Let’s discuss it below.

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19 Comments on “State vs. State: Delaware”

  1. […] show you why New Jersey is better. While it may be difficult to … Go here to read the rest: State vs. State: Delaware « Armpit of America Share and […]

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  3. mark m. Says:

    More reasons why Delaware sucks more than NJ.

    MM from Budapest!

  4. I love this idea! I know what you mean about the conversation killer when someone says they’re from DE…I believe I’ve had that conversation with someone before. Even after living in NJ until age 15, I don’t know anything about DE. Can’t wait to see if you get to a NJ vs GA comparison!

    • armpitofamerica Says:

      I don’t think people that live in Delaware even know anything about Delaware!

      So far, it’s one state down, 48 more to go. But I’ll get to Georgia sooner or later!

  5. Melissa Says:

    I like the idea. I’m giving this a thumbs up.

  6. Hilarious! I met someone from Delaware the other week and like you said above, not really a whole lot more to say there.

  7. yer ma Says:

    The beaches are essentially the same as in NJ. True story yo. I’ll be looking out for NJ vs MN and AZ.

  8. mynwflorida Says:

    Oooh! I like where this is going! Keep FL in mind for a good one.

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  10. Steven Says:

    Lol wow I honestly hate Delaware and as a resident I can tell you it’s an awful place, but one place worse than Jersey is Delaware. The only good thing about Delaware is the beaches and lack of trash unlike New Jersey where it has basically replaced grass. I can’t believe you’re trying to justify being the Armpit of America as being better than having no identity lol have fun in shitopia, I’ll be living anywhere except these two states.

  11. Sam Says:

    My family relocated here from New York, and boy it’s awful. We live in Wilmington, which is a dump. The public schools are horrible. They still have to bus over district lines in order to maintain integration (self segregation is a major issue in schools). That said, there are hardly any blacks in the suburbs. The city of Wilmington’s downtown area is under constant U.S. surveillance. It’s been named the most dangerous city by parenting magazine. As far as I’m concerned, Delawareans are completely immune to New Jersey hate because many in Delaware wish to leave (young people at least). What else? Delaware has the second highest HIV and Cancer rates in the United States. The list goes on…

  12. Jake Says:

    Delaware has a lot less heroine addicts and dealers, I see that as a major plus

    • Jake Says:

      That being said Wilmington and most of northern Delaware is absolutely a shit hole, down south by the shore in sussex county by ocean city MD it is a very nice, friendly, and basically crime free area to live in with great schools

  13. Fed up with Delaware Says:

    I live in Delware and I don’t like it. No tax aside, it is not as green and lush as Pennsylvania or New Jersey. I think Dupont has puumped so many chemicals into the soil that grass is sparse and patchy. If you buy ahouse in Delaware expect to pay for a landscaper if you like nice lawns.The water is not drinkable, unless you like cancer; too may chemicals.

    The people are nasty, not friendly at all so working here won’t be fun unless most of your coworkers are from other states.The laws are loosely based, so nothing is really enforced, unless you have witnesses.

    Crime. poverty and unemployment are high in the city. Do yourself a favor, shop in Delaware to save the taxes but don’t buy a house there.

  14. Valerie Says:

    I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being forced to move to this shit-hole state aka “Dela-where”. Due to a career move from my dad ,being on unemployment in NJ at the time, and a poor excuse of this “so called bf” at the time all lead to this move. Within *1* day of being in this state of Delaware I could sum up the entire state with one word: BORING!!! List goes on… I am a college graduate from FIT in NYC. A recession was going on around the time of my graduation, however, in NJ i ALWAYS was able to hold down a decent JOB and pay my bills. Delaware has NOTHING to offer except a bunch of hick small minded people with low education levels. I see more trees than people, takes forever just to get to a single store, and ZERO opportunities for growth in the work place. Unless of course your dream job is to work at Kmart or McDonald’s with minimal wage for the rest of your life. HORRIBLE !! *WARNING* GET OUT WHILE U STILL HAVE YOUR SANITY!!!!

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