The Cast of Jersey Shore: Where Are They Now?
It wasn’t long ago that almost 90 percent of my blog posts were about MTV’s Jersey Shore. But it wasn’t just me – those greasy, orange STD magnets were everywhere: chatting on talk shows, hosting events at clubs, doing commercials – and even appearing in Christmas ornament form. But my how the mighty have fallen – and I’m not just talking about drunkenly stumbling in their six-inch heels on the way home from Bamboo.
As is often the case, MTV built these people up and then forgot about them, just like so many of the network’s previous flavors of the minute: Avril Lavigne, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, etc. One day you’re being interviewed by Kurt Loder on the red carpet at the VMAs, and the next day you’re googling yourself and thrilled to see that some second-rate writer mentions your name on a rarely updated blog about New Jersey. Will the same hold true for the cast of Jersey Shore? While I previously showed where they’ll be in 20 years, let’s take a look at where they are right now as they desperately cling to those final fleeting seconds of their 15 minutes of fame.
Oh my beloved Snooki. In what has to be the biggest transformation of any cast member, she went from hard partying slut-bag to devoted wife and mother. And although she can still be seen on Jersey Shore spinoff Snooki & JWoww, I don’t know of anyone who watches that show. Still, she had to sell her customized $70,000 car, a likely sign of the “I’m rich and famous so I can spend all the money in the worl-oh shit I’m broke!” disease that affects so many of these reality stars. In a further sign of her descent from fame, Snooki has recently ended up at the veritable graveyard for washed up celebrities, appearing on Dancing with the Stars.
As mentioned above, JWoww can be seen (by the few who watch it) on her own show with Snooki. Clearly recognizing that her days in the spotlight may soon be over, she has relied on the tried and true attention-grabbing technique of starting twitter feuds with other d-listers, like Bristol Palin and all-too-brief fellow cast member Angelina. In other news, she recently got engaged and is pregnant. Still, it won’t be long before people think of JWoww and ask “JWhoo?”
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – a dumb name, and even dumber person. Perhaps no cast member has experienced the highs and lows of fame more than poor old Sitchy. Despite making $5 million in 2010, he has since had a number of troubles. In addition to the embarrassment of Abercrombie and Fitch paying him NOT to wear their clothes, he also went to rehab for painkiller addition. In the latest episode of the reality of post-reality stardom, he is now under federal investigation for shady business deals.
DJ Pauly D
Things were pretty promising for this tall-haired DJ from Rhode Island – the show gave him great exposure for his music career, and he even got his own spinoff, The Pauly D Project. Unfortunately for him, that show just lasted a single season, and the highlight of his music career is now collaborating with Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. If this were 2004, that might have been impressive, but not so much today.
Vinnie has always been the most normal (and boring) cast member, so I have a feeling he’s the best suited to returning to a normal life. However, he’s still holding onto his fame as long as he can. Like Snooki, JWoww and Pauly D, he also got his own (what will surely be a short-lived) spinoff. He’s also trying to be an actor – unfortunately, his most prominent role was as a guest star on 90210: The Next Generation, or whatever they called that crappy reboot. Uh, I guess that’s all I can say about Vinnie.
When “Jersey Shore” premiered, Sammi seemed so cute and innocent. But as the series progressed, she became a needy, obsessive glutton for abuse by her creep of a boyfriend and fellow cast mate Ronnie. Like everyone else on the show, she’s trying to parlay her fame into other ventures, like supposedly her own fashion line. Unbelievably, she is still together with that creep.
Speaking of the creep, Ronnie has managed to avoid any charges for domestic abuse despite MTV having his continued abuse against Sammi on camera throughout the show’s run. He also launched his own “SMUSH Cocktail” line of drinks. Other than that, we’re just waiting for his eventual arrest and imprisonment.
Deena Nicole and Angelina