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This is pretty epic. If you couldn’t tell from the title, I went on a tour of the “Jersey Shore” house, and it was amazing! Considering how much I’ve written about this show and its crazy cast of greasy goofballs, I can honestly say this was one of the highlights of my life.

It wasn’t planned or expected – just happened to be in Seaside Heights, walked up to the infamous Shore Store where the cast worked during the show, and saw a sign inviting people to take a tour of the house, which is right behind it. Of course, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see where our beloved Snooki, The Situation, J-WOWW, and the rest of the gang lived, fought, hooked up (and God knows what else they did in that house) for four summers.

They’d probably get more business if they advertised: “Take a picture in the Smush Room”

The tour was led by this guy who worked on the crew of the show, who led us through the back door of the Shore Store and onto the back porch. But before we went inside, he warned us that it’s a lot smaller in real life – something I’m sure many of the girls who’ve hooked up with The Situation have also realized.

Anyway, we walked into the house and it was pretty damn surreal. It looks exactly like it did on the show – four years after going off the air, nothing really had changed. But that’s the whole appeal – the house is rented out to people wanting to live the “Jersey Shore” experience for themselves. When it’s not being rented out, they hold these tours – and this day, we got luckier than Snooki after a night out at Bamboo, as the house was open for tours. And just as the cast has shared many sexual partners and diseases with each other, I’m happy to share my experiences with you.

First stop, the kitchen – still stained with Ronnie’s signature “Ron Ron Juice” and meatball sauce – or at least the place where meatballs got sauced.

Note the red Solo cups in the cabinet – the fine china of the Jersey Shore.

The giant kitchen table. Not pictured: Snooki’s booster seat.

Then onto the living room, including the infamous duck phone!

Pretty amazing to hold this thing that the entire cast touched…

…but let’s just hope herpes can’t be transmitted ear to ear.

And the bedrooms, which really were startlingly small:

Vinnie and Pauly D’s room – considering how close these beds are, it’s no wonder those two had such a bromance.

Snooki’s bed – you can still detect the scent of pickles, cheap hair dye, and fake tanner – but not the slightest hint of shame.

Ronnie and Sammi’s room – based on how he treated her, this is more of a crime scene than a bedroom.

The infamous “Smush Room” – just as sleazy as you’d expect.

And the bathroom, including the toilet that got clogged when someone tried to flush a wife beater – and by wife beater, I mean a shirt, not Ronnie.

If you look closely, you can see some overly gelled pubes – looking at you Pauly D…

And finally the confessional room:

I confess to still crushing on Snooki.

And that’s the tour. Again, it was an amazing and surreal experience, and incredibly nostalgic. It reminded me what a great show “Jersey Shore” was, in its first season at least. Before the fame and infamy, the lawsuits and litigation, these were a few lucky kids who got selected to be on a show to get drunk and have fun at the Jersey Shore. As most of the cast have been reduced to punchlines at this point, it’s easy to forget how huge the show was when it started – and just how famous these people became.

Although “Jersey Shore” certainly didn’t improve the reputation of the Armpit of America, it was pretty magical – perfectly capturing what its like to be at the shore in your 20s, living with your friends and having not a care in the world. What made it even more relevant for me was actually living at the Jersey Shore when the show was on. Definitely brought back some great memories.

Never thought I’d say this, but I fuckin’ miss these people.

Well, maybe not Sammi and Ronnie, but definitely the rest of them.

This entry was posted on July 4, 2016 at 8:01 am and is filed under Armpit Adventures, MTV's "Jersey Shore". You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: boardwalk, Jersey Shore, MTV, Seaside Heights, snooki, the situation