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This past weekend, some friends and I rented a house in Sea Isle City. For those who have never heard of Sea Isle City, it is kind of like the equivalent of Belmar to those of us north of Ocean County. I sure never heard of it until I started dating a girl from the South (south Jersey that is). Anyway, as the name implies, Sea Isle City is a little city on an island by the sea. While there are probably a bunch of better names, no one can accuse the town of false advertising. Anyway, it is a really nice place, made even nicer by the fact that I didn’t see any guidos.

Since, as everyone should be aware of by now, I was at the Bruce show Saturday night, I couldn’t make it to the house until Sunday. Despite the late arrival, I still had an incredible 48 hours in Sea Isle City. While the rest of the group were up in Ocean City when we got there, we explored our new home for the next couple days. The house was huge and could easily sleep about 15 people, not counting floor space. It also had a lot of nice bowls, plates, glasses, and other stuff that could be easily broken by a bunch of drunk twenty-somethings. As far as I know, nothing got broken, but there were some close calls.

After exploring the house, we walked onto the beach. It was incredibly windy, the sky was dark, and the water was freezing. Despite these conditions, there were actually a few people swimming. Most notable was a rather large girl with a boogey board who kept bending over and sticking her ass out for some reason. What made this scene even more hilarious was that she was wearing shorts that matched her skin color perfectly, making it seem as though she was naked from the waist down.

We then went back to the house as everyone else was coming back from Ocean City. As we all greeted each other and were introduced to unfamiliar people, the drinks started pouring. And, after we all got a little buzzed, we decided to make dinner – hot dogs and hamburgers. After about half an hour, the designated grill master came inside and announced that the grill was out of gas. This meal was becoming a real propane in the ass! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun.) I suggested putting everything in the oven. After another 15 minutes, someone realized that I never turned the oven on. Oops. While this was going on, the people making pasta salad were having their own ordeal. Apparently, no one could find a colander. In order to cool the pasta down, someone had the drunken idea of putting the pasta in a bowl of ice. After being advised to just pour cold water in the bowl and strain it, someone dumped half the pasta in the sink. Surprisingly, the pasta salad was delicious.

After “dinner,” we had dessert, which was just more alcohol and a delicious strawberry thing. Before leaving for the bar, we drank some more and played around with a midget blowup doll. Someone decided to put hot dogs in her orifices. We then walked to a bar called Ocean Drive. I don’t remember much of what happened, but, if the pictures are any proof, I think I had a good time. After somehow finding our way back to the house, we had even more drunken fun. Again, I don’t remember much, but it involved me leg wrestling with another guy. Also, someone stabbed the blowup doll. 😦

The next day, Memorial Day, was a lot quieter. We all went to the beach in the morning. Everyone got up to go for a walk by the water, while I stayed behind reading a book. When they came back to our spot in the sand, they said there was a guy fishing and he caught a shark! Unfortunately, I missed this, but that’s what I get for reading like a nerd. We only stayed on the beach for a couple hours. Storm clouds rolled in with their thunder and rain, so we had to go back to the house.

That night, we went down to Wildwood to hang out on the boardwalk – my first time being at Wildwood in 12 years. Although it was pretty empty, all the stalls and shops were still open. We went to the candy store, where we bought fudge and candy cigarettes. Just as I was feeling really old and well past the age of buying candy, a boy in his early teens came up to our group to ask if any of us were eighteen and could buy him cigarettes. I took this as a compliment and rewarded him by buying him the goods. Kidding. We then spent a couple hours at an arcade. When we left, the boardwalk was completely empty, and mostly everything was closed. It definitely had a different appearance than a couple hours earlier. Everything looked so rundown and trashy. In other words, it was pure Armpit of America-ness.

The next day was really cold and rainy, really shitty weather for late May. We then packed up and left.

Although the weather wasn’t that great, it was still an incredibly fun time. There really is nothing like spending time in a beach house with your friends. Also, we got to experience the best of the Jersey Shore – the beach, the boardwalk, crappy cover bands, barbecuing (or at least attempting it), and all around drunkeness.