Archive for the ‘Atlantic City’ category

Resorts Hotel and Casino: Not Much of a Resort, Hotel, or Casino

March 1, 2011

Caution: blatant false advertising!

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of my Atlantic City recaps. Not necessarily a while since I’ve been there, my trips just haven’t been too noteworthy. But that all changed last weekend during a trip to Resorts Hotel and Casino. Don’t worry, no one else ever heard of it either.

The reason for the trip was my girlfriend’s birthday – and her venue of choice was Boogie Nights, a 70s/80s themed club in AC. The club is located at the aforementioned Resorts, which is noteworthy for absolutely nothing else. Since we knew it was going to be a late night, we decided to get a room there as well. After spending a night at Resorts, I can officially declare that the establishment is a pus-filled zit on the Armpit of America.

I never knew too much about Resorts, and I wish I could go back to my days of ignorance about it. But here’s what I knew prior to my visit: It was one of the original casinos in Atlantic City, being built in the 70s, but not much has changed since. Although all the other casinos in Atlantic City have been renovated, rebuilt, expanded, and transformed into the mega-hotels like those you’d find in Vegas, Resorts has stayed mostly unchanged. And, while all the other AC casinos have merged together into giant conglomerates, Resorts is there by itself. And for good reason.

We got there last Friday, and the trouble started as soon as we entered the parking deck. While the other casinos have split-leveled and tiered parking garages that are marvels of modern engineering, this one was small and overcrowded, with an impossibly steep ramp to get from one level to another. And, while I was trying to go up a level, the car in front of me had to stop short because another car was trying to go down the ONE-WAY ramp. Idiot. (more…)

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The Weekend Before Presidents Day Weekend in Atlantic City

April 8, 2010

Wordpress won't let me put up any pictures of the event. Perhaps that's for the best....

It’s been far too long since I’ve written about one of my escapades in Atlantic City.  Well that drought is gonna end right now.

My latest trip was over a month and a half ago, but I have good reason for not writing about it until now.  You see, that last visit was for a bachelor party.  Now that the couple is happily married and have returned from their honeymoon, I figure this entry will do the least amount of damage to their marriage.

That fateful night began the same way any trip to AC does: taking the long ride down the Garden State Parkway to the Armpit of America’s city of sin.  This time, I was going to the Tropicana, Atlantic City’s Cuban-themed hotel and casino.  Its interior is made up of cobblestone flooring, an artificial blue sky ceiling, and a bunch of high-end, expensive clothing stores – just like the real Havana!

After arriving, I met up with the rest of the group.  Being the most familiar with AC, they asked where I thought we should eat.  This being a bachelor party and all, I suggested Hooters, which seemed to please everyone.  Admittedly, I had never been to a Hooters before, so I was pretty excited about going.

It turned out to be such a let down.  I was always under the impression that the waitresses were supposed to be all flirty and everything.  Ours turned out to be a dud.  Looks-wise, I’d say she was slightly above average.  Personality-wise?  Total failure.  As for the food, that was just as disappointing.  But the beer was good. (more…)

The Saturday After Martin Luther King Day in Atlantic City

January 25, 2010

Atlantic City - even the murals in the bathrooms are sleazy...

After visiting Atlantic City on Halloween and Christmas, I decided to continue the trend of spending each holiday in that shithole of a place. And what could be a more important day than the Saturday after Martin Luther King Day? This sure sounds like someone with a gambling problem looking for any excuse to cover up their random trips to AC. But, I had a very valid reason for going this time – a friend’s birthday.

I had some out-of-state family business to take care of in the days prior to this one. Yet, a mere couple hours after getting off the plane in Newark, I was on the Garden State Parkway heading towards AC. Okay, maybe I do have a gambling problem.

Soon after arriving at Caesars, we walked around the Pier, which is high-end version of the typical Jersey mall – only this one is built right above the ocean. In addition, the Pier is somewhat well known for its dancing fountains, which is a (very) poor man’s version of those found at the Bellagio in Vegas. Only in the Armpit of America can a stupid fountain in the shape of a toilet (seriously, it is) be a major tourist attraction.

Following birthday cupcakes and cookies in our hotel room, it was time to hit the casino. After putting $20 in a nickel slot and playing for 10 minutes, I was only down four bucks, which is better than I usually do. Anyway, it was then time to go to the bar. On this night, we went to Game On, an ESPN-owned sports bar on the aforementioned Pier.

This was only my second time at Game On, but it is probably my favorite place to hang out at Atlantic City. Though I’m admittedly not a huge sports fan, those that are can be entertained by countless TVs all around the place showing every game imaginable. And those mechanical bull aficionados, like me, will be happy to know that you can ride one for only $2. In addition to the two bucks, you have to sign a waiver saying you won’t hold the place accountable if you die. But those 5 seconds you’re on the bull before getting thrown off and having everyone laugh at you is definitely worth it.

Another draw is the bathroom. Upon entering, you’ll meet that lovely lady in the picture at the top of this entry. In addition, the spaces right above the urinals have little TVs built right into the wall! (more…)

Christmas in Atlantic City

December 31, 2009

Atlantic City. Just those words conjure up such a mix of emotions for me, and likely, a lot of other people. I always get excited when the opportunity arises to take that drive down the Garden State Parkway to the poor man’s Las Vegas. Whenever I leave the city, though, I am full of regret, disappointment, and disgust.

It’s like I’m in an abusive relationship. The Atlantic City lures me down with promises of lavish gifts. I go and then get punched around, lose my money, lose my hope, and lose my lust for life. When I can finally pull myself away from the casino, I feel dirty and taken advantage of. I vow never to return; doing so would just make me a sadomasochist. A couple months later, Atlantic City will send me flowers (or actually just some coupons promising me five bucks in slot money) and I’ll come running back into its abusive arms. This past Christmas was no different.

You may be surprised that I would want to spend my Christmas in such a disgusting place. Don’t worry, I’m Jewish. Christmas is just a free day off from work for me and an excuse to eat Chinese food. For the last few years, it has also been an excuse to go down to Atlantic City with a bunch of Jews for Christmas Eve. As a matter of fact, I spent Halloween there too. Yeah, maybe I have a gambling problem. (more…)

Halloween in Atlantic City SUCKS!!

November 2, 2009

This past Saturday was Halloween, and it turned out to be one hell of a night. I mean that in the bad sense. I’ve had some crappy Halloweens before, but this was the worst of the worst.

I got suckered into going to a club in Atlantic City (The Pool at Harrah’s, to be exact). Well, I shouldn’t really say suckered, because I always jump at the chance to go to the Armpit of America’s crappy version of Las Vegas. So I did go voluntarily, but, since the night was a complete disaster, I’ll say I got suckered in. Anyway.

After agreeing to go, I was told that the cast of Twilight was going to be there. Even though I never pass up an opportunity to go to Atlantic City, I did have some reservations once I heard that news: I figured the place would be swarming with 14-year-old girls. I then realized that 14-year-old girls can’t get into clubs. On top of that, the people from Twilight that were showing up were only the background characters or something, so I figured they wouldn’t draw much of a crowd. Upon hearing that Snoop Dogg was going to be there as well, I became slightly more interested.

Since we were presented with the option to purchase tickets in advance and pick them up at the Will Call booth, we did just that. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon. The plan was to meet up with some other people at Harrah’s and eat at their buffet. We’d then hang out at the casino for a little bit, pick up the tickets, and then go to our hotel just outside the city. We would put on our costumes at the hotel and then head back to Harrah’s.

Everything started out okay. The buffet was incredible. In addition to the usual salad bar and Italian counter, they had a Brazilian meat station. That’s right a BRAZILIAN MEAT STATION. They also had a dim sum counter with SIX different dumplings! This meal was by far the highlight of the trip. Soon after, things took a turn for the worse.

We finished the meal right before 8 PM, which was when the Will Call booth opened. When we got to the general area, we saw that the line was reallllly long. But it shouldn’t take that long right? Everyone on line had already bought the tickets and would just pick them up, right? WRONG!!! Apparently, the computer system was down. So no one moved for a long time. At some point, the line started moving forward inch by inch. Though the computer system was still down, the staff had printed a spreadsheet with everyone’s name on it. So they had to look up people’s names on this giant list before handing out the tickets. Oy.

After standing in line for ONE HOUR and THIRTY MINUTES, we finally got the tickets. We then went to the hotel to get changed. Once we were ready, we returned to Harrah’s thinking we could waltz right into the club. WRONG AGAIN!!!

Instead, we found two lines to get into the club. One was for people who were buying tickets at the door. The other line was for those already holding tickets, like us. Although, the ticket holders’ line was much more of a chaotic mass of people in stupid costumes pushing against each other to get into a stupid club than an actual line. While the people who were waiting to buy tickets got a nice, orderly, roped-off line, those with the foresight to buy tickets in advance were encouraged to push, shove, and cut the line in order to get in. As you can imagine, standing on your feet in bulky costumes, surrounded by a mass of loud, annoying, belligerent drunk people isn’t the best way to spend an evening.

Anyway, the “line” was moving incredibly slow, and the security people and other Harrah’s staff members did nothing to control the situation. They could have easily gotten some more ropes to make a more orderly line. They could have used the now-empty buffet room as a waiting room until more people could enter the club. Instead, it was just a fucking mess. We stood on line for an hour and a half before giving up. After waiting in line for three hours, would you be in a clubbing mood?

So, upon leaving the line, I immediately approached three Harrah’s employees who were standing off to the sides just watching the chaos but not doing anything to help the situation.

I calmly and politely asked them how this became such a mess.

They all shrugged their shoulders.

I then said that I had waited an hour and half for Will Call and then another hour and a half in front of the club.

One guy just said, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

I firmly replied, “Well I don’t like wasting my time or my money, and tonight I did both. How do you plan on compensating me for this?”

Again the response was “I don’t know what to tell you.”

I then went off and said how it was unbelievable how the situation could be such a mess and that there’s no reason I had to wait on line that long.

One woman condescendingly told me that there are two lines, one for ticket holders, the other for non-ticket holders.

I told her I knew that. I then asked who was responsible for this lack of organization.

This other woman says, “Well, it’s not one person responsible-“

I cut her off with, “Oh so you’re telling me that the entire Harrah’s organization couldn’t plan a simple event better than this?”

Well that seemed to shut the three of them up, until I got the now-predictable response:

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

As you can see, this was a horrible night. The funny thing is that our friends that did make it in only stayed a half-hour. Apparently, it wasn’t worth the hype. Or the $23 for tickets. And certainly not three hours of standing on line trying to get in.

The night wasn’t a total waste, though. I won $7.18 from a penny slot.