Posted tagged ‘Atlantic City’

Summer is Over (So I Took Some Pictures to Make It Last Longer)

October 10, 2011

Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve updated.  Deal with it.

I’ve successfully survived my first summer living at the Jersey Shore.  Though that’s not to say there weren’t a few close calls – like a hurricane, a tornado, a slight altercation with a bouncer, etc.  That being said, I’d like to share a few pictures.

Let’s start with this one:

I was lucky enough to attend a bonfire party on the beach.  That really was quite an experience.  The only bad part?  I was under the impression that a fire at the beach would attract Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon, but no such luck. (more…)

Resorts Hotel and Casino: Not Much of a Resort, Hotel, or Casino

March 1, 2011

Caution: blatant false advertising!

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of my Atlantic City recaps. Not necessarily a while since I’ve been there, my trips just haven’t been too noteworthy. But that all changed last weekend during a trip to Resorts Hotel and Casino. Don’t worry, no one else ever heard of it either.

The reason for the trip was my girlfriend’s birthday – and her venue of choice was Boogie Nights, a 70s/80s themed club in AC. The club is located at the aforementioned Resorts, which is noteworthy for absolutely nothing else. Since we knew it was going to be a late night, we decided to get a room there as well. After spending a night at Resorts, I can officially declare that the establishment is a pus-filled zit on the Armpit of America.

I never knew too much about Resorts, and I wish I could go back to my days of ignorance about it. But here’s what I knew prior to my visit: It was one of the original casinos in Atlantic City, being built in the 70s, but not much has changed since. Although all the other casinos in Atlantic City have been renovated, rebuilt, expanded, and transformed into the mega-hotels like those you’d find in Vegas, Resorts has stayed mostly unchanged. And, while all the other AC casinos have merged together into giant conglomerates, Resorts is there by itself. And for good reason.

We got there last Friday, and the trouble started as soon as we entered the parking deck. While the other casinos have split-leveled and tiered parking garages that are marvels of modern engineering, this one was small and overcrowded, with an impossibly steep ramp to get from one level to another. And, while I was trying to go up a level, the car in front of me had to stop short because another car was trying to go down the ONE-WAY ramp. Idiot. (more…)

The Weekend Before Presidents Day Weekend in Atlantic City

April 8, 2010

Wordpress won't let me put up any pictures of the event. Perhaps that's for the best....

It’s been far too long since I’ve written about one of my escapades in Atlantic City.  Well that drought is gonna end right now.

My latest trip was over a month and a half ago, but I have good reason for not writing about it until now.  You see, that last visit was for a bachelor party.  Now that the couple is happily married and have returned from their honeymoon, I figure this entry will do the least amount of damage to their marriage.

That fateful night began the same way any trip to AC does: taking the long ride down the Garden State Parkway to the Armpit of America’s city of sin.  This time, I was going to the Tropicana, Atlantic City’s Cuban-themed hotel and casino.  Its interior is made up of cobblestone flooring, an artificial blue sky ceiling, and a bunch of high-end, expensive clothing stores – just like the real Havana!

After arriving, I met up with the rest of the group.  Being the most familiar with AC, they asked where I thought we should eat.  This being a bachelor party and all, I suggested Hooters, which seemed to please everyone.  Admittedly, I had never been to a Hooters before, so I was pretty excited about going.

It turned out to be such a let down.  I was always under the impression that the waitresses were supposed to be all flirty and everything.  Ours turned out to be a dud.  Looks-wise, I’d say she was slightly above average.  Personality-wise?  Total failure.  As for the food, that was just as disappointing.  But the beer was good. (more…)

Winter in New Jersey Sucks!

February 4, 2010

What the hell is up with weather in New Jersey this winter?  Our state is going to be barraged by up to two feet of snow this weekend.  Yeah, I know some other states are gonna have it worse, but those states don’t matter.  Is Maryland even a state?  I forget sometimes.

Anyway, this will be the third snowstorm to hit the Armpit of America this season.  And it is the third snowstorm that will occur on a Saturday.  And this is the third weekend where the weather has ruined my plans.

I was all set to go to Atlantic City yet again.  If you’ve kept up with this blog, you’d know that I spend all the important holidays in AC, like Halloween, Christmas, and the Saturday After Martin Luther King Day.  Well, I was all set to celebrate the Weekend Before Valentine’s Day in Atlantic City, but now those plans have been canceled.  Thanks a lot, you worthless cumulus clouds!

According to that stupid groundhog out in Pennsylvania, we have six more weeks of winter.  One weekend of those six is already ruined.  Let’s hope the other five are okay.  If not, I say it’s groundhog hunting season out in our neighbor to the left.  Who’s with me?

By the way, you can follow me on Twitter @armpitnj!  And you can get my latest blog entries right in your e-mail by subscribing up in the left hand corner!

The Saturday After Martin Luther King Day in Atlantic City

January 25, 2010

Atlantic City - even the murals in the bathrooms are sleazy...

After visiting Atlantic City on Halloween and Christmas, I decided to continue the trend of spending each holiday in that shithole of a place. And what could be a more important day than the Saturday after Martin Luther King Day? This sure sounds like someone with a gambling problem looking for any excuse to cover up their random trips to AC. But, I had a very valid reason for going this time – a friend’s birthday.

I had some out-of-state family business to take care of in the days prior to this one. Yet, a mere couple hours after getting off the plane in Newark, I was on the Garden State Parkway heading towards AC. Okay, maybe I do have a gambling problem.

Soon after arriving at Caesars, we walked around the Pier, which is high-end version of the typical Jersey mall – only this one is built right above the ocean. In addition, the Pier is somewhat well known for its dancing fountains, which is a (very) poor man’s version of those found at the Bellagio in Vegas. Only in the Armpit of America can a stupid fountain in the shape of a toilet (seriously, it is) be a major tourist attraction.

Following birthday cupcakes and cookies in our hotel room, it was time to hit the casino. After putting $20 in a nickel slot and playing for 10 minutes, I was only down four bucks, which is better than I usually do. Anyway, it was then time to go to the bar. On this night, we went to Game On, an ESPN-owned sports bar on the aforementioned Pier.

This was only my second time at Game On, but it is probably my favorite place to hang out at Atlantic City. Though I’m admittedly not a huge sports fan, those that are can be entertained by countless TVs all around the place showing every game imaginable. And those mechanical bull aficionados, like me, will be happy to know that you can ride one for only $2. In addition to the two bucks, you have to sign a waiver saying you won’t hold the place accountable if you die. But those 5 seconds you’re on the bull before getting thrown off and having everyone laugh at you is definitely worth it.

Another draw is the bathroom. Upon entering, you’ll meet that lovely lady in the picture at the top of this entry. In addition, the spaces right above the urinals have little TVs built right into the wall! (more…)

MTV’s “Jersey Shore” Episode 7

January 16, 2010

So there were actually two episodes last night. But since it takes me approximately 14 hours to write each review, you’re only getting one for now. Come back soon for Episode 8!

The first very special episode of “Jersey Shore” picks up where the last one ended – Ronnie and Sammi having one of their boring fights.

She is still upset that he pushed her. Uh, grow up! It was just a little tap, and he only did it because your mouth was getting him into a fight. But all the crap going on with Ronnie isn’t enough for Sammi. She then talks to Mike and Pauly about Snooki’s comment that everyone is pissed at the couple for not hanging out. And then it explodes into this whole thing with Sammi screaming at Snookie.

I actually feel bad for Snooki Snook here. Understanding that they only had a limited amount of time together, she just wants every to hang out. Instead, everyone’s picking on HER for starting shit. Although she isn’t present during all of this, Snooki says that J-WOWW feels the same way. And how does Sammi respond to this? Snooki and J-WOWW are clearly jealous of her and Ronnie. Sammi then tells us how she can’t trust anyone anymore. Just because Snooki and J-WOWW wanted to hang out with her a little more. Make sense?

"Oh yeah?  Well you're just jealous of my semi-abusive relationship with a roid head!"

"Oh yeah? Well you're just jealous that I'm in a semi-abusive relationship with a somewhat unstable roid head!"

Later that night, the group is at some club, where Snooki meets her latest crush. He’s a pale, Irish farmer, even though she usually goes for guidos. But they hit it off and go home together. Meanwhile, Mike is grinding with some girl, who he says can “drop it like it’s hot.” Wow, I haven’t heard that since 2005, which is probably the last time anyone thought Mike was cool. (more…)

Christmas in Atlantic City

December 31, 2009

Atlantic City. Just those words conjure up such a mix of emotions for me, and likely, a lot of other people. I always get excited when the opportunity arises to take that drive down the Garden State Parkway to the poor man’s Las Vegas. Whenever I leave the city, though, I am full of regret, disappointment, and disgust.

It’s like I’m in an abusive relationship. The Atlantic City lures me down with promises of lavish gifts. I go and then get punched around, lose my money, lose my hope, and lose my lust for life. When I can finally pull myself away from the casino, I feel dirty and taken advantage of. I vow never to return; doing so would just make me a sadomasochist. A couple months later, Atlantic City will send me flowers (or actually just some coupons promising me five bucks in slot money) and I’ll come running back into its abusive arms. This past Christmas was no different.

You may be surprised that I would want to spend my Christmas in such a disgusting place. Don’t worry, I’m Jewish. Christmas is just a free day off from work for me and an excuse to eat Chinese food. For the last few years, it has also been an excuse to go down to Atlantic City with a bunch of Jews for Christmas Eve. As a matter of fact, I spent Halloween there too. Yeah, maybe I have a gambling problem. (more…)