Posted tagged ‘New Jersey’

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Top 5 Songs About New Jersey

February 2, 2010

Is this Jon Bon Jovi or a Jersey girl? I sure can't tell...

When I first decided to create this list of the top songs about the Armpit of America, I thought it would be pretty easy. However, as I began assembling the list, it became more difficult. There are plenty of songs that mention New Jersey, but I didn’t think that a mere shout-out was enough to put a song on this list. Instead, I wanted to include songs that represent the true spirit of living in this state. I could have included a couple Bruce Springsteen songs, but that would have been too easy. (Though you can look forward to a future Top 5 list of Bruce’s best songs about New Jersey.)

Anyway, I did manage to create a list. I’m sure there are plenty of songs I’ve overlooked. I’m sure people will disagree with the ones I did list. Agree or not, these are the songs I came up with:

1. “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi

Poor Jon Bon Jovi. As big as he and his conceitedly named band were, are, or will be, he’ll never grow out of his status as New Jersey’s second favorite son. But don’t feel too bad for him, his song goes first on my list! Though the lyrics don’t mention New Jersey by name, it is clear that his story about Tommy and Gina takes place right here. With references to the docks at Bayonne and the ubiquitous Jersey diner, the story can’t take place anywhere else.

Our protagonists might not have much, and it apparently doesn’t make a difference if they make it or not. However, they have each other, you see, and that’s a lot for love. So they decide to give it a shot. Though things may be rough for Tommy and Gina, they show the true grit and toughness New Jerseyans are known for. On top of that, this song is pretty much the unofficial anthem of New Jersey. You can’t go to any bar or club in the Garden State without hearing it. At least that’s one thing Bon Jovi can wave in Bruce’s face. (more…)

Categories: Music, Top 5
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Comments: 14 Comments

Weed in the Garden State

January 12, 2010

Put that in your pipe and smoke it - legally!

After disappointingly rejecting same sex marriage last week, yesterday, the New Jersey state legislature actually realized we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. They took some progressive action and voted in favor of legalizing marijuana in the Armpit of America.

Now before you all go and smoke up, there are quite a few restrictions. The bill that got approved, and which outgoing Jon Corzine promised to sign, only allows the stuff to be used for serious medical conditions. According to this article, the only people who will be allowed to purchase marijuana are those with diseases causing them “chronic pain, nausea, seizures, muscle spasms or wasting syndrome.” That’s funny, I though you only get chronic pain and wasting syndrome AFTER smoking pot.

New Jersey is hardly a leader in this realm, since it is the 14th state to legalize marijuana. But, at least it is a step in the right direction. Though I am not a pothead by any means, the positive effects of marijuana on sick people is pretty much proven. So why should they have to sneak around to get something that can make them feel better? And why should they be charged as criminals for using something that can make the pain go away?

Anyway, the bill that got approved is the strictest of all 14 states that allow medicinal marijuana. While other states allow people with “high stress or anxiety” to qualify, none of those bullshit diseases will be enough to let you legally buy some weed. I guess that’s for the best, though. If everyone suffering from stress or anxiety in this shithole of a state could get marijuana, I don’t think all the Wawas and QuickCheks in New Jersey could keep up with the demand for Cheetos and Zebra Cakes.

All joking aside, the legislature of New Jersey finally did something right. A lot of people suffering from debilitating diseases can now get the relief they deserve, without being labeled as criminals for doing so.

Categories: politics
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Comments: 2 Comments

State vs. State: Delaware

December 16, 2009

I’m unveiling a new feature on the Armpit of America today: State vs. State. In these entries, I’ll be comparing New Jersey to another state in our great country to show you why New Jersey is better. While it may be difficult to convince you that New Jersey is better than some states, like Hawaii (which isn’t a real state anyway), others will be a lot easier, like Mississippi (who the hell would want to live there?).

For my first State vs. State entry, I’ll be comparing New Jersey to our frenemy to the south, Delaware.

I know some of you are already asking, “Dela-where?” This is completely understandable. For those unfamiliar, Delaware is a sliver of a state bordered on the north by Pennsylvania, the west and south by Maryland, and the east by Delaware Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. As a matter of fact, in 1787, Delaware became the first state to join the union, a fact that its residents can’t stop bragging about. Maybe if something – anything – interesting had happened in Delaware over the last 200 years, they would have something else to brag about.

In case you didn't know, DELAWARE WAS THE FIRST STATE!!!!

Say what you will about New Jersey, at least the state has an identity (albeit, the Armpit of America). Sure, people cringe when you tell them you’re from New Jersey. But I think it’s better for someone or something to have a bad reputation than no reputation at all. A common joke anyone from New Jersey is bound to hear when asked where they are from is, “You’re from New Jersey? Which exit?” Though playing on the assumption that the state is nothing but highway, at least this is a great conversation starter. When people hear that someone is from Delaware, that usually kills the conversation. (more…)

Categories: State vs. State
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Comments: 19 Comments

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