You Know You’re in NJ When…

Posted November 16, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Driving in New Jersey, Food

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You know you’re in New Jersey when you’re driving around and you see something like this:

That’s right, a pork roll van.  The incident happened a couple days ago.  I was driving on Route 35 and all of the sudden, I realized I was behind a van advertising pork roll.  So I stalked the van until we were stopped at a red light and took the picture.

For those who don’t know, pork roll is the official processed meat of New Jersey and one-third of the famous pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwich that this state is famous for.  Despite the advertisement, the website theporkrollstore.com is nonexistent.  But a quick search tells me that the real Pork Roll Store is located in Allentown, NJ.  I’ve always heard about a store in Allentown that has the best pork roll – I guess that must be the place.  Anyway, where else can you be driving down the street and see a van advertising salty processed pig?  Only in the Armpit of America.

For more information about this true mystery meat, go here.

Pee-wee Herman is Amazing…Infinity!

Posted November 12, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Random, Reviews

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That's his name, don't wear it out!

I recently had the pleasure of seeing Mr. Paul Reubens revive his long-gone but never forgotten character of Pee-wee Herman in his new Broadway show. It was spectacular. And although Pee-wee asserted throughout the show that he’s the luckiest boy in the world, I disagree. After seeing Pee-wee Herman live, I think that I’m the luckiest boy in the world.

So what’s the reason for all of this gushing? Well Pee-wee Herman, and his TV show Pee-wee’s Playhouse, was a huge part of my childhood. I learned more from Pee-wee than I ever did from my parents, teachers, and friends. I can fondly remember taking a cue from Pee-wee and putting scotch tape around my nose and ears. I remember starting and giving up on countless foil and rubberband balls. I remember stuffing both feet into one sock and hopping around like Roger, Pee-wee’s one legged, one-eyed alien neighbor. I remember putting pennies over my eyelids and pretending I was Penny of claymation fame. The point is, Pee-wee’s Playhouse was the highlight of my childhood.

So when I heard that Pee-wee was coming to Broadway, I knew I had to go. Now I hate going to New York City. The noise, the smell, the people, the smelly people – I can’t stand any of it. But the chance to see Pee-wee was enough to lure me away from the comfort of the Armpit America, pay the ridiculously expensive New Jersey Transit train fair, jump on an overcrowded and outdated train, and ride through a dark tunnel underneath the Hudson River.

After surviving the treacherous journey to Manhattan, we walked through Times Square (ughhh) to the Steven Sondheim Theater. After getting our seats and looking through the Playbill, I was thrilled to see that Lynne Marie Stewart was reprising her role as the effervescent Miss Yvonne. I was also pleased that John Paragon was back playing Jambi. Unfortunately, Lawrence Fishburne didn’t return to play Cowboy Curtis. Read the rest of this post »

My Snook-o-Lantern

Posted November 7, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore", NJ Personalities, Videos

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As promised in my last entry, here is a special surprise.  Although we’re a week late, my Snook-o-Lantern and I would like to wish everyone a very happy Halloween!

Enjoy!

My Halloweekend

Posted November 3, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Bars, Belmar

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I have a big Halloween surprise for all of you. Let’s just say it involves Snooki and a pumpkin. I’ll try to get it out by the weekend.

But for now, I’ll just talk what I did this past weekend. We had long planned to get a big group together to go to Jenks down in Point Pleasant. Though usually guido central, Jenks is actually pretty fun on Halloween. So, while that was the plan on Saturday, we wanted to stay local and go somewhere in Belmar on Friday.

Though no one else was really dressing up on Friday, I wanted to resurrect a costume I did a couple years ago: a goth/emo/hipster guy, black nail polish and guy-liner included. After getting dressed, I was told that my jeans were too baggy. My wonderful girlfriend then offered up her pants. Miraculously, I managed to fit into them. Though I felt uncomfortable wearing a wig, make-up, and FEMALE JEANS, I think the costume came out pretty good: Read the rest of this post »

My First Trip to Sussex County

Posted October 22, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Armpit Adventures

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Sussex County: Just the tip of the armpit.

A couple weeks ago, I had the pleasure of visiting Sussex County for the first time.  Nestled up in the northwest corner, Sussex County is geographically New Jersey’s northernmost county but culturally its southernmost.  It is known for its mountains, farmland, small towns, and country folk.

The reason for the trip up north was for a friend’s birthday.  Driving up to Sussex County, I couldn’t believe the scenery and almost forgot that I was in New Jersey.  The gently rolling hills full of trees seem more typical of Pennsylvania and upstate New York.  And the signs advertising not one, but two mining museums made me think I was in West Virginia or Kentucky.  But all of the strip malls along the way served to remind me that I was still in the Armpit of America.

Another reminder was the numerous signs talking about this one diner – apparently the best diner in New Jersey.  Diners are a dime a dozen in this state and usually fall into one of two categories:  perfectly average or not so great.  Each one claims to have the best of something, whether pancakes, burgers, or omelets.  But for a diner to claim to be the best at everything?  I was intrigued – but I’d have to do my investigations another day.

We arrived at the birthday party and were greeted by some of the redneckiest rednecks I’d ever seen.  And I mean that in the nicest possible way.  Everyone was really nice and friendly, just a little more country than any other people I’ve ever met in New Jersey. Read the rest of this post »