Posted tagged ‘guidettes’

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Age Progression Images of Snooki and Friends in 20 Years

June 12, 2012

Making her first appearance on this blog is Patricia “Tan Mom” Krentcil.  For those who don’t know about Tan Mom, this overly tan New Jersey woman was accused of taking her daughter into a tanning both with her. While that has yet to be proven, one thing we know for sure is that she goes tanning a bit too much.  But 20 years earlier, she was quite the looker.

After viewing these before and after pictures and seeing the drastic changes that excessive tanning has caused to this once attractive woman, it got me thinking about the cast of “Jersey Shore” and what they will look like in 20 years.  Using the most advanced age progression technology (Google image search and Microsoft Paint), I have created some images of what I think Snooki and friends will look like after two decades of tanning and partying. Enjoy!

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Snooki

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Paulie D.

(more…)

Categories: Jersey Shore, MTV's "Jersey Shore"
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Comments: 1 Comment

La Costa de Jersia Andere a Italia (or The Jersey Shore Goes to Italy)

August 16, 2011

America’s favorite overpaid, overexposed, and overdone white tan trash 20-somethings are back!  And in Italy!  Because it wasn’t enough that the rest of the country had to hate New Jersey, now the show gives reason for the rest of the world to hate the U.S!

So why Italy?  You know, because everyone in the cast always brags about how Italian they are.   Despite half of them having last names like Farley, Ortiz, and Pivarnick or having an Italian name but being of Chilean ancestry.  Whatever.  I’m Jewish and I’m confident that I know more about Italian culture than even the real Italian members of the cast do.

"Watch out, Italy, you's about ta get smushed!"

Now let’s check in and see what our favorite guidos and guidettes have been up to, and what they hope to get out of their free trip to Italy: (more…)

Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore"
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My Latest Obsession: Teresa Giudice

June 21, 2011

Move over Snooki, there’s a new ghetto Italian bitch in my life. Her name is Teresa Giudice (pronounced Jew-dice), from Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” If you’ve never watched that show, you’re missing out. It’s a lot like “Jersey Shore,” only the episodes actually have plots rather than the regular formula of drink, fight, hook up, and repeat. I only started watching Real Housewives a couple of weeks ago, but I wish I’d been there all along. Once you start watching, I’m sure you’ll be just as intrigued as I am by the obvious star of the show, Ms. Giudice.

Just like Snooki, Teresa is quite interesting to look at. While she shares Snooki’s orange skin and big, dark hair, Teresa’s got something that little Snooki doesn’t. Crazy eyes. Seriously. Look at those things:

They’re like two hockey pucks so far apart it seems like they’re trying to escape her face. Indeed, it’s those very eyes that have me so smitten. It’s certainly not the rest of her body – her skin is so orange and wrinkly, she looks much older than she really is. And it’s not her personality. Teresa comes across as a self-centered and ignorant bitch. But there’s something about those eyes. I guess it’s the whole train wreck analogy – they’re so ugly that I can’t look away. And for some reason, she puts so much makeup around her eyes that you can’t help but be drawn to them anyway. (more…)

Categories: NJ Personalities
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Comments: 15 Comments

Jersey Shore Season 3 Recap

April 9, 2011

I had originally intended to recap each and every episode of MTV’s groundbreaking and highly influential show. However, I gave up half-way through the second season, which took place in Miami despite being called Jersey Shore. I apologize, but I’m sure you understand. As we all know, each episode was pretty much the same. Sammi and Ronnie fight and make up. Vinny, Pauly D, and Mike “The Situation” hook up with as many girls as possible. Angelina starts shit with everyone. J-WOWW dresses like a slut. Snooki does something adorable.

For the third season, the gang was back whoring it up in Seaside Heights. Though the season started out strong, it soon fizzled out. It’s sad, but these people have become caricatures of themselves and no longer seem that interesting. Even sadder, they are all celebrities now and make more in one year than I’ll probably make in my lifetime. All that aside, the show is still pretty entertaining. But if you haven’t been keeping up with it, let me fill you in on who/what went down this season (along with some great artwork by Jennifer Herd of bite.ca).

J-WOWW and Snooki

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?"

Everyone’s favorite pickle-loving best-selling author (check out her first draft!) is still on her quest to find the perfect guido. Though Snooki makes no attempt to hide her feelings for her cast-mate Vinnie, there’s always some kind of drama keeping those two apart. Aside from the early episode where she got arrested for being drunk at the beach, our girl Snooks was pretty low-key this season. (more…)

Categories: Jersey Shore, MTV's "Jersey Shore"
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ArmpitNJ.com Exclusive: Snooki’s First Draft!

March 6, 2011

In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no one, Snooki didn’t really write her much publicized debut novel, A Shore Thing.  Rather, she employed the use of a ghostwriter to do the grunt work for her.  So how much input did Snooki actually have in the book that credits her as the author?

We now know the answer.  Thanks to an old friend over at Simon & Shuster, I’ve got my hands on the only copy of Snooki’s original manuscript.  And I’m happy to share it with all of you.

Enjoy! (more…)

Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore"
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Comments: 3 Comments

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