Posted tagged ‘beach’

Ocean City Part III: Monkey Bread and Shark Abortions

May 18, 2010

Although I had already spent a small fortune on greasy pizza and crappy arcade games, my day at the Ocean City boardwalk wasn’t over just yet. You see, we still needed to get some dessert. And, as the Jersey Shore boardwalk is a site for unlimited gluttony, you can find a wide variety of all types of deep-fried pleasures. One of those pleasures is monkey bread:

Though I had heard of monkey bread before, I never tasted it until this day. It’s essentially deep-fried balls of dough rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Then, they’re glued together into a cone-like shape with some kind of sugary glue. Since it isn’t unhealthy enough to be considered boardwalk fare at this point, it’s doused with an even more sugary glaze. (more…)

Ocean City Part II: The Archaic Arcade

May 13, 2010

After seeing the best of what Ocean City has to offer in terms of pizza, which certainly isn’t Mack and Manco’s, it was time to explore another integral part of any shore town in New Jersey. I’m talking about the boardwalk arcade. While Ocean City has a couple, the one I had my sights set on was the Hollywood Arcade, which is full of old, classic table games.

I first discovered the Hollywood Arcade on my first and, until recently, only trip to Ocean City. The whole time I was there, I kept wishing I had brought my camera. There were all those old arcade games that I had never seen before, including a Tommy-themed pinball machine!

Fast-forward two years later, where my obsession for all things Jersey has resulted in me spending every single minute of free time that I have working on a stupid blog about the state. So, this time, I was well prepared. With my camera and a pocket full of quarters, I entered the arcade. (more…)

Ocean City Part I: Pizza Wars

May 11, 2010

While Maryland might have the more famous one, New Jersey has its own Ocean City. Found way down south between Atlantic City and Cape May, Ocean City is famous for its sprawling boardwalk. It is also known for being one of the Armpit of America’s few dry towns, meaning alcohol isn’t sold anywhere within its borders. While this might be somewhat disappointing, the good thing about it is that you won’t find any drunken guidos there.

Although the weather wasn’t perfect, the woman and I went down to Ocean City this past Saturday. As we were driving down the Garden State Parkway, I got the sudden urge to get off at Exit 38B for the Atlantic City Expressway and head over to the casinos. Somehow I managed to fight it, and we were soon at Exit 25 and a short distance from Ocean City’s boardwalk.

Since it was a little chilly outside and the weather called for scatter thunderstorms, I figured the boardwalk would be pretty empty. Though it doesn’t happen too often, I was wrong. It was kinda crowded.

Polish Water Ice? That must be the punch line to some joke, right?

There was no sign of rain, but the weather still wasn’t perfect. It was incredibly windy. And I don’t mean just a strong breeze here and there. These were hurricane-force gales. We tried walking on the beach but had to turn around rather quickly. After being on the beach for like two seconds, I already had sand all over my hair and in my eyes. Still, I’d rather have my eyes tortured by sand then being tortured by the sight of the sleazy guidos found elsewhere on the shore. (more…)

How does the Jersey Shore feel about "Jersey Shore"?

February 19, 2010

The “Jersey Shore has certainly caused a lot of controversy.  Love it or hate, there are few people in this country who aren’t aware of it.  Hell, even my out-of-touch mother knows all about Snooki and The Situation.

While I admittedly enjoyed the show, it does bring light to the problem of trashy out of staters coming to the Jersey Shore and making the lives of us locals completely miserable.  One of the readers of this blog (by the way, you can sign up at the right to get an e-mail whenever i write a new post!) left a very poignant and well written comment about those trashy guidos and guidettes.  Rather than leaving it buried in the Armpit of America archives, I wanted to post it up front and center so everyone can see it.

Whoever you are, thanks for speaking what all of us true Jerseyans are thinking!

To Armpitofamerica,

I want to set the record straight about the Jersey Shore. Since these MTV people invaded our shores, it has put such a bad light on New Jersey. I am so very sad, as I was born and raised at the Jersey Shore. I can honestly tell you that parts, (that the guidos and tourists know nothing about) are absolutely beautiful and pristeen. There are bays, rivers, streams, camping, canoeing, tubing, and clean beaches which we and our children have beautiful memories from. I will not reveal where these places are as so those “types” won’t trash it like Seaside, or what us locals refer to it as “Sleazside”.

We let our teens work on the boardwalk and saw so much human garbage there, we pulled them out, never letting them work there again. The things we’ve seen, made the quidos and quidettes look like choir singers. Trust me, 90% of the people that spend the summers there are not Jersey Shore residents. First there is no room to breathe, and 2nd, we cannot afford the crappy $5.00 hot dogs  $10.00 drinks and $15.00 a day parking. Who needs it! They come from North Jersey and out of state looking for a good time and not care what or who they hurt to get it. Yeah, lets pee on this guys lawn, ah throw the beer can anywhere we don’t care! Not to mention the rise in crime. We relish mid September to reclaim our beaches again until another dreaded summer comes. Thanks tourists.

I admit,I would never live in the large cities of New Jersey as I said before most of them are transplants and bring their garbage with them making the Garden State the reputation it has. But if you go to some of the small towns with good hard working people who love to fish and crab and boat, canoe, and tend their famous Jersey tomatoes and corn on their day off, and with our hometown parades with flags flying, you would see just how beautiful small town America can be. No it’s not corny, it’s true. And I’m proud of that.

MTV’s “Jersey Shore” Last Episode!!!

January 28, 2010

Just like summer itself, the first season of “Jersey Shore” has flown by. I can’t tell you what a relief it is that this will be the last episode review I’ll have to write for a while. Not that I don’t love spreading the word about latest goings on with Snooki and the rest, but I look forward to not devoting 20 hours a week towards this show. All that being said, I will have at least one more “Jersey Shore” related post coming up in the next couple weeks. Stay tuned!

Now that that’s all out of the way, let’s jump right in to our last episode. It begins where the previous episode left off – Ronnie getting arrested. Sammi explains how horrible she feels and that she can’t believe it and doesn’t know what to do. I say you should dump the creep, sister! Anyway, the girls are wondering how they can get Ronnie out of jail. Snooki offers to call 911, but Sammi explains to her that 911 is only for emergencies. Silly pumpkin!

In case you haven't noticed, I love posting this pic!

So Snooki calls the local police office instead, and she is told that Ronnie will be held overnight and can be released on bail at 6:30 AM. Sammi then whines about how this will be the first night she has to sleep alone. Please. Instead of worrying that her boyfriend with the perfectly coiffed hair and ever-present tube of lip gloss is going to get raped in the slammer, she’s only concerned about herself. What a selfish bitch. As she points out, though, it’s already 3:30, so he’ll only be there another 3 hours.

At 8:00 in the morning, the phone rings nonstop, but no one answers it. Finally, Sammi gets up and tells us that she heard the phone ringing but was waiting for someone else to answer it. The princess (Sammi, not Mike) eventually gets up and then goes to the slammer to pick Ronnie up. He tells us, “I feel like a lowlife for going to jail, and I don’t belong there!” Let’s see. Ronnie is somewhat abusive to his girlfriend, can’t control his anger, has been involved in several fights, and has now been arrested. I think that qualifies him as a lowlife. What do you all think????

Enough with the Sammi/Ronnie bullshit, Little Miss Diva needs her turn in the spotlight! We see Mike talking with Vinny and Pauly about finding some girls to hang out with over Labor Day weekend, their last weekend in the house. Mike gets on the phone calling all of the girls he knows, and – surprise – none of them answer. Since no girl is interested, he suggests the three of them have a guys’ night out. Something tells me this was his plan all along… (more…)