Posted tagged ‘New Jersey Governor’

In Case You Didn’t Know, NJ is Corrupt

March 14, 2010

In light of all the drama going on with the political landscape in New York, Newsweek recently put together a list of the most corrupt states in the country.  This should be no surprise to anyone, but New Jersey made this elite list of seven states.  Newsweek’s Andrew Romano, who hails from the Armpit of America, wrote a very nice summary of our state’s tendency to put only the most disgraceful politicians in office.

Romano discusses New Jersey’s first colonial governor, Lord Cornbury.  Aside from the funny name, Lord Cornbury was a nepotistic, bribe-taking cross-dresser.  Romano also mentions that gay sex scandal involving former governor Jim McGreevey.  The author then touches on the FBI bust that caught a group of rabbis and state officials trafficking human organs and fake Gucci purses.  Yes, you read that correctly.

I suggest reading the whole article to get an even broader sense of the level of corruption that has always plagued the Armpit of America.  Though the other states in the article (New York, Louisiana, Illinois, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Ohio) may be corrupt, none can top my beloved New Jersey.

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Why Gay Marriage Should Be Allowed in NJ

December 8, 2009

The state legislature of New Jersey will vote this week on whether or not to make gay marriage legal in the Armpit of America. Last night, the New Jersey Senate’s Judiciary Committee voted 7-6 in favor of legalizing gay marriage. The measure will go before the entire senate this coming Thursday. Should it pass that round, the vote would then go to the State Assembly. If it passes there, it would end up on lame duck Governor Corzine’s desk, and he has vowed to sign this bill.

I, for one, hope it passes. Though I am by no means a gay rights activist, and my life will continue just as before if the bill doesn’t get passed, I simply don’t see any reason why two men or two women shouldn’t be given the same rights that us straight people have. If a completely wasted couple that just met in Las Vegas can walk into a chapel and get legally married, why can’t two women or two men that have decided to devote their lives to each other have that same privilege?

I have another reason for hoping New Jersey allows gay marriage. If it does, it would certainly make the Armpit of America a better place. Think about it. Should New Jersey grant homosexuals the right to marry, our state would likely see an influx of gays and lesbians. And when the gays and lesbians come to town, good things happen. Don’t believe me? Just look at Asbury Park. What was once a trashy, run-down ghetto, our gay brothers and sisters have transformed into a center of high culture. What were once decrepit old restaurants are now exotic fusion cuisine eateries. What was once a sleazy pawn shop is now a high-end clothing boutique. And let’s not forget about those decaying Victorian houses throughout the town that the lesbians and gays (with their unrivaled carpentry and decorating skills) have restored to their former glory.

Now if our homosexual friends can transform Asbury Park like that, imagine what they could do for the rest of the state. And if they can make New Jersey just a little more fabulous, we might finally break free of our bad reputation. Well, probably not, but it’s worth a try.

If gay marriage is allowed, New Jersey will be the sixth state in the country to make it legal. We would be in good company with several other liberal, northeastern states – Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, and New Hampshire. The other state allowing gay marriage? Iowa. Yes, that middle of America state known for its farm folk and not much else allows gay marriage. New Jersey, are we really gonna let a state like Iowa outdo us on this? If we don’t act know, who knows, maybe other backwater states like Kansas or West Virginia will beat us to it as well. Aside from that, New York recently shot down its gay marriage bill. So now is our chance to outshine our bigger, more popular neighbor.

The vote to legalize gay marriage in New Jersey is pretty urgent. In about a month, Jon Corzine will leave office and Chris Christie will take over as governor. Corzine pledged to sign the bill should it reach his desk. Christie vowed to veto any such bill once he’s in office. So, hopefully our legislature will make the right decision. It will be the first step in improving the Armpit of America, and it would let the disgraced Corzine leave us with something more to remember him by than that embarrassing car crash.

My Endorsement for Governor

October 27, 2009

As promised a couple entries ago, I will now be making my much anticipated endorsement for the 2009 New Jersey Gubernatorial race.

I have carefully considered each of the three major candidates, Democrat and current governor Jon Corzine, Republican Chris Christie, and Independent Chris Daggett, but only one of them will be getting my vote next Tuesday.

And that person is Chris Daggett.

Though he might not be the best candidate, he seems a lot better than the other two choices. Daggett ran an honorable campaign, rising above the mudslinging politics of his rivals. He outperformed Christie and Corzine at each of the debates, giving off a straight-talking calmness when compared with those two clowns.

Daggett also lacks the political corruptness that is so often associated with New Jersey government and represented by the other two choices. While there’s no way to prove that Daggett won’t be corrupt as governor, at least this has yet to be proven. Christie and Corzine, on the other hand, have already removed all doubt about their morals and ethics.

On November 3, 2009, I will be voting for the one candidate who might actually make the Armpit of America slightly better.

Chris Daggett will be getting my vote for Governor of New Jersey. I hope he gets yours too.

The Race To Be Governor of NJ

October 20, 2009

Two weeks from today, residents of New Jersey will head to the polls to vote for governor. Will we end up reelecting our current governor, Democrat Jon Corzine, or will we choose Republican Chris Christie or Independent Chris Daggett?

Though none of these choices are ideal, one of these three stooges will be the eventual winner. I haven’t exactly decided who I will be voting for, but I do have a good inkling. I’ll probably share my decision at some point before election day.

For those of you lucky enough to live outside the Armpit of America, or those of you who do but don’t know anything about the upcoming gubernatorial election, here is a profile of each candidate:

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Chris Christie – Earlier in the race, this redundantly named candidate was considered a shoe-in. The incumbent governor had dismal approval ratings, so any other option could have easily won. However, his reluctance to provide any details about what he would do for our miserable state, combined with the unexpectedly strong Daggett campaign, has hurt his chances of winning. Though the former federal prosecutor brags about fighting corruption and putting wrong-doing politicians in jail, Christie seems to have been involved in his fair share of shady politics.

Pros:

Chris Christie is not Jon Corzine.

Chris Christie likes is obsessed with Bruce Springsteen.

Cons:

Chris Christie hasn’t mentioned exactly what he’s going to do for New Jersey.

Chris Christie is a scum bag.

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Jon Corzine – In many ways, the current governor represents what is wrong with New Jersey politics. He seems to go by the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do style of leadership, as evident by this whole thing. I also don’t like his negative campaign strategy of making fun of Christie’s weight. How would he like it if people made fun of him for being bald? Also, Corzine himself can be considered fat…a Wall Street fat cat to be exact. His expertise in finance was supposed to let him better handle our state’s tax and financial issues, of which there are many. But has he done anything in the last four years? No. So it’s hard to imagine he would get anything done in the next four years.

Pros:

Jon Corzine is not Chris Christie.

Jon Corzine keeps his scalp really shiny.

Cons:

Jon Corzine is a sleaze ball.

Uh, look at the last four years.

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Photo courtesy The Star Ledger

Chris Daggett – Though usually third-party candidates don’t get much attention, this one sure has. Christie’s lack of specifics, Corzine’s general sketchiness, and the mud-slinging politics of both major parties have allowed Daggett to sneak in and gain some traction. While he does have a couple interesting ideas, some are a little far-fetched. For instance, he plans to cut New Jersey’s high property taxes by raising the taxes on EVERYTHING else. Also, he’s been mainly out of politics for the last twenty years, after briefly working for the Department of Environmental Protection under the first Bush. Daggett truly is a dark horse in this race – we have no idea what he will be like with free reign over the state. At the same time, being independent may prevent the state legislature from working cooperatively. Though his election would certainly change things up, we don’t know if this change would be good or bad. With Corzine or Christie, we could expect no change at all, but at least we would know what’s coming.

Pros:

Chris Daggett is not Jon Corzine or Chris Christie.

Chriss Daggett has a cool last name.

Cons:

Chris Daggett is not Jon Corzine or Chris Christie.

Who the hell is Chris Daggett?

Well, these are our three wonderful options for governor. Something tells me that no matter who wins, the Armpit of America will remain the same – stinky.

So, who are you voting for?