Posted tagged ‘the situation’

La Costa de Jersia Andere a Italia (or The Jersey Shore Goes to Italy)

August 16, 2011

America’s favorite overpaid, overexposed, and overdone white tan trash 20-somethings are back!  And in Italy!  Because it wasn’t enough that the rest of the country had to hate New Jersey, now the show gives reason for the rest of the world to hate the U.S!

So why Italy?  You know, because everyone in the cast always brags about how Italian they are.   Despite half of them having last names like Farley, Ortiz, and Pivarnick or having an Italian name but being of Chilean ancestry.  Whatever.  I’m Jewish and I’m confident that I know more about Italian culture than even the real Italian members of the cast do.

"Watch out, Italy, you's about ta get smushed!"

Now let’s check in and see what our favorite guidos and guidettes have been up to, and what they hope to get out of their free trip to Italy: (more…)

Who Would You Kick Out of New Jersey?

July 10, 2011

As much as I love New Jersey, even I’ll admit that there are a lot of assholes in this state.  The Armpit of America would definitely be a lot less stinky if certain people were to leave and never come back.  Any reader of this blog shouldn’t have too much trouble figuring out who I would like to kick out of New Jersey forever.  (HINT: His name rhymes with Miss Misty.)  But I want to know who you’d like to banish.

Below you’ll find some of the Garden State’s most famous and polarizing characters.    So let me know your thoughts by choosing who you would want to get rid of.  If your choice isn’t listed here, share your choice by leaving me a comment.

What’s Stinking in New Jersey?

May 21, 2011

What’s stinking in New Jersey this week?

This truck:

Yes, this truck says “1-800-DOG-POOP” on it.  Apparently it’s a dog waste cleaning service, which isn’t too uncommon.  But I sure got a kick out of it.

Aside from that, here are a couple other stinky things going on in the Armpit of America:

Governor Chris Christie got booed during his commencement address at Seton Hall.

Lieutenant Governor Kim Guadagno also got booed at a graduation.  (They probably should have left those two little boys in charge).

The Situation’s father is just as big of a loser as his son.  He set up a site called The Confrontation, with the goal of slandering his son.

Well, that’s about it from me.  On a side note, I’m leaving shortly for vacation!  As much as I love New Jersey, it’s good to get away every now and then – it just makes me appreciate the state even more.

Jersey Shore Season 3 Recap

April 9, 2011

I had originally intended to recap each and every episode of MTV’s groundbreaking and highly influential show. However, I gave up half-way through the second season, which took place in Miami despite being called Jersey Shore. I apologize, but I’m sure you understand. As we all know, each episode was pretty much the same. Sammi and Ronnie fight and make up. Vinny, Pauly D, and Mike “The Situation” hook up with as many girls as possible. Angelina starts shit with everyone. J-WOWW dresses like a slut. Snooki does something adorable.

For the third season, the gang was back whoring it up in Seaside Heights. Though the season started out strong, it soon fizzled out. It’s sad, but these people have become caricatures of themselves and no longer seem that interesting. Even sadder, they are all celebrities now and make more in one year than I’ll probably make in my lifetime. All that aside, the show is still pretty entertaining. But if you haven’t been keeping up with it, let me fill you in on who/what went down this season (along with some great artwork by Jennifer Herd of bite.ca).

J-WOWW and Snooki

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?"

Everyone’s favorite pickle-loving best-selling author (check out her first draft!) is still on her quest to find the perfect guido. Though Snooki makes no attempt to hide her feelings for her cast-mate Vinnie, there’s always some kind of drama keeping those two apart. Aside from the early episode where she got arrested for being drunk at the beach, our girl Snooks was pretty low-key this season. (more…)

South Park Goes Jersey

October 19, 2010

"It's a Jersey thing."

As South Park satirizes everything in the worlds of politics, pop culture, and current events, it was only a matter of time before Trey Parker and Matt Stone took on all things Jersey.  They did just that on last week’s episode, and the results were incredible.

The episode featured the small town of South Park, Colorado dealing with a special kind of infestation.  While it’s been overrun in the past with hippies, metrosexuals, homeless people, wealthy black families, and immigrants from the future, its most recent infestation is people from New Jersey.  Although, it wasn’t just any people from New Jersey – the stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jerseylicious, and, of course, Jersey Shore all made their appearances.  They also referenced a “Steve” from a show called Last Call, but I have no idea who or what that is.

Anyway, the town tries to deal with the influx of Jersey trash, who, whenever they do something rude or stupid, always answer with “It’s a Jersey thing!”  Just as everyone is getting sick of all the Jersey freaks, we find out that one of South Park’s own residents is from New Jersey.  It turns out Kyle’s mom, who has long had the reputation of being a bitch, is from Newark.  That explains a lot.  Though she now goes by the name Sheila Braflovski, she used to be known as “S-Woww Tittybang.”  Ha. (more…)