I Wrote a Guest Blog!

Posted January 3, 2011 by armpitnj
Categories: Best of NJ, Personal
Tags: , , , ,

I was recently asked to write a guest post for the travel blog, onetravelbloggers.com.  I was told I could write about literally anything.  Since there are so many places in the Armpit of America that I could write about, I couldn’t pick just one.  So, I decided to write about New Jersey as a whole. Though other bloggers have written about more exotic locales, like India, Thailand, and Romania, I think mine holds up pretty well!

Without further ado, here is my article, “New Jersey – An Unlikely Tourist Destination”.

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Top 5 Blog Posts of 2010

Posted December 31, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Top 5
Tags: , , , ,

As 2010 comes to a close, you’ve undoubtedly seen countless websites putting out some kind of “best of 2010” list or the like. Well, here’s another one!

But before getting into that list, let me just tell you some of the things you can expect to see on this little blog in 2011. First of all, I hope to update a little more often than I’ve done this year. I also plan to have some more videos (such as a “Jersey Shore” makeover!) and maybe even some guest bloggers! So be sure to come back often to see what’s going on in the Armpit of America.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are my Top 5 favorite entries I’ve written over the past year.

1) New Jersey’s Ghetto Barber Shops – Join me in my quest to find a decent barber shop. As a bonus, I you’ll see a picture of me with my afro at full force.

2) Top 5 Overplayed Jersey Shore Cover Band Songs – Go to any shore bar over the summer, you’ll likely encounter a cover band. Find out what I think are the most overplayed songs those bands perform.

3) State vs. State: Idaho – Tomatoes vs. potatoes. Springsteen vs. Willis. Find out whether New Jersey or Idaho is the better state. (By the way, I promise to do more of these State vs. State entries in the new year.)

4) The Best of NJ: Adventure Aquarium – Camden New Jersey is known for two things – gang violence and fish. Check out my experience at Camden’s Adventure Aquarium and see if I made it out of the city alive.

5) My Snook-o-Lantern – For Halloween, I made a life-sized model of everyone’s favorite star of “Jersey Shore” out of pumpkins. You can watch my video of the entire process, as I assemble my effigy of Snooki Snook from wig to pumpkin boobs.

Well,l those are my favorite blog posts of 2010. What are yours?

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Chris Christie Is Still A Scumbag!

Posted December 18, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: politics
Tags: , , , ,

Governor Chris “William Taft” Christie

I know I haven’t updated in a while, so this will be a quick and easy update. And what could be easier than making fun of Chris Christie, our double-named, double-stuffed governor?

So let’s take a look at some of the things he’s done lately:

He decided to cancel the building of a new rail tunnel linking New Jersey to Manhattan. This project had been in the works for a long time and had plenty of potential benefits. It would put more trains on the ground, lessoning the burden of the overcrowded trains we have now. With more trains, there would be less people driving, helping with that whole climate change deal. And the new stations and stops and whatnot would draw more people to live in the state. (Yeah, we already have more than enough, but they would all be in North Jersey, so it wouldn’t bother me.)

Now, I know there is a somewhat valid reason for why he canceled the project – it was turning out to cost way more than expected. Still, isn’t that the case with any major undertaking? And wouldn’t the benefits of building that tunnel eventually make up for the extra costs? Whatever. I guess that’s the price to pay for having a fiscally conservative governor.  Or so he claims to be fiscally conservative.

A couple months ago, it was discovered that someone in his administration made a tiny clerical error that caused New Jersey to miss out on $400 million in grant money for our education system. Yes. New Jersey lost the opportunity to add not $4 million, not $40 million, but $400 million to help educate our children. So what does Chris Christie do? He blames Obama. It wasn’t until video evidence emerged of someone from the Obama administration pointing out that they were missing a page of the application that Christie admitted responsibility. Though he fired the education commissioner who made the guffaw, many of us were wishing he’d fire himself. Fat chance. Read the rest of this post »

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Snooki Wrote a Book!

Posted December 6, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore"
Tags: , , , ,

Excerpt from the book: "See Snooki. See Snooki hump. Hump Snooki hump."

Snooki is many things to many people.  She’s a reality show star and a YouTube star.  She’s a lover and a fighter.  She’s the guido lusting, gorilla humping, pickle sucking object of my obsession.  And now Snooki is adding another hat to her wardrobe (aside from that stupid Stetson bejeweled with her name on it).  You see, Snooki is now an author.

Joining the ranks of other reality show stars turned authors, like Kate Gosselin, Nicole Richie, and Jersey Shore castmate and former hookup Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, Snooki is officially an author – a novelist to be more specific.

The book in question [the question being whether she really wrote it or not], is titled A Shore Thing.  Get it?  She became famous on “Jersey Shore” and then took a popular saying and substituted the word “sure” with the homonym of “shore”!  Such a genius this girl is!  Though this isn’t really Snooki’s first attempt at writing.  Remember that letter she wrote to Sammi telling her that Ronnie was cheating on her?  Well going by that, we can expect plenty of grammatical errors that even a third grader wouldn’t make.

So what is this book about? Read the rest of this post »

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Top 5: Reasons Belmar is Better Than New Brunswick

Posted November 26, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Belmar, New Brunswick, Top 5
Tags: , , , , , ,

I suggest you turn around. Photo by city-data.com.

About three months ago, I moved out of my apartment in New Brunswick and into a new apartment in Belmar. And it was quite a drastic change. I essentially moved out of the armpit of the Armpit of America and into a more pleasant body part (I’ll let you pick which one). I’ve spent five years of my life living in New Brunswick, and, although I have fond memories of the city, there is plenty to hate about it.

With that, here are theTop 5 reasons why Belmar is better than New Brunswick:

1) Hippies – Both New Brunswick and Belmar are home to quite a few hippies. Still, they couldn’t be more different. The hippies in New Brunswick are mainly students of Rutgers University. Though they typically come from upper-middle class families, they like to pretend they’re poor and just getting by on their own. But don’t let those tattered tie-dye shirts, unkempt facial hair (on guys), and unshaven legs (on girls) fool you. They’re just miserable spoiled brats with Grateful Dead posters in their dorms who wake up every morning wishing they went to college 40 years ago.

Belmar’s hippies, on the other hand, are more grown up. Rather than playing their guitars and singing about imagined social injustices, these hippies have embraced capitalism. Instead of going out of their way to be part of some nonexistent, idyllic counter culture, these hippies actually contribute something to the real culture. They’ve opened establishments all over the town, like vegan restaurants, vintage clothing stores, and yoga studios. Still embracing their hippie roots, but earning a dollar at the same time. Who wouldn’t respect that? Read the rest of this post »

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