South Park Goes Jersey

Posted October 19, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore", NJ Personalities, Reviews
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

"It's a Jersey thing."

As South Park satirizes everything in the worlds of politics, pop culture, and current events, it was only a matter of time before Trey Parker and Matt Stone took on all things Jersey.  They did just that on last week’s episode, and the results were incredible.

The episode featured the small town of South Park, Colorado dealing with a special kind of infestation.  While it’s been overrun in the past with hippies, metrosexuals, homeless people, wealthy black families, and immigrants from the future, its most recent infestation is people from New Jersey.  Although, it wasn’t just any people from New Jersey – the stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jerseylicious, and, of course, Jersey Shore all made their appearances.  They also referenced a “Steve” from a show called Last Call, but I have no idea who or what that is.

Anyway, the town tries to deal with the influx of Jersey trash, who, whenever they do something rude or stupid, always answer with “It’s a Jersey thing!”  Just as everyone is getting sick of all the Jersey freaks, we find out that one of South Park’s own residents is from New Jersey.  It turns out Kyle’s mom, who has long had the reputation of being a bitch, is from Newark.  That explains a lot.  Though she now goes by the name Sheila Braflovski, she used to be known as “S-Woww Tittybang.”  Ha. Read the rest of this post »

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An Evening with Michael Pollan

Posted October 9, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Food, New Brunswick, Personal, Rutgers
Tags: , , , , ,

Hahahah never heard that one before....

Back in September of 2001, I was a nerdy, overweight freshman at Rutgers.  During that first semester, I took Expository Writing 101 (AKA Ex-Pos), the dreaded freshman writing course.  The first assignment for that class was to read an essay about genetically engineered potatoes and write a paper about it.  The author of that essay was a certain Michael Pollan, a fact I only remember because I thought how funny it was that a guy named Pollan wrote about plants.

Before the teacher handed back those first assignments, she said most of the class did pretty poorly.  She explained how that can be expected on our first papers and that we shouldn’t get too discouraged; we can only get better.  When she handed my paper back, I was shocked by my grade.  It was a B+.  That’s when it happened.  It was at this point, dear reader, that your humble narrator realized he could write.  Since then, I’ve pursued writing educationally, personally, professionally, and blogally.

So where am I going with all this?

Nine years (holy shit) after that fateful day, I heard that Michael Pollan was giving a talk at Rutgers.  I couldn’t pass up the chance to hear the guy who indirectly launched my writing career at the place where it started.  So, this past Wednesday, I headed up to the College Ave gym, where the talk was being held.  On the way, I passed the Rutgers Student Center.  There was a big sign in front of the building saying there was going to be a memorial for Tyler Clementi that night.  The sign also said that both New Jersey senators, Frank Lautenberg and Bob Menendez, were going to be there.  I thought about ditching Pollan and going to this event for no other reason than the remote chance that I could convince one of the senators to sit down for an in-depth interview for this little old blog.  But they clearly had something more important to do that night. Read the rest of this post »

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The Wild, The Inebriated, and The E Street Shuffle

Posted October 5, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Bars, Belmar, Music, Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

One of my souveniers from the night...the other was a hangover.

 

I’ve never been one to make a big deal out of my birthday.  Well, aside from my epic 21st birthday weekend (My birthday was on a Friday that year, so we went to the bars at midnight on Thursday, went to the Breakfast Club Friday, and had a house party Saturday), that’s mostly true.

This year, things were a little different.  Now that I have a beautiful apartment in Belmar, along with plenty of bars within walking distance, why not go all out?  So I invited a bunch of people over to check out the place and then hang out at a bar.  Even though my birthday was once again on a Friday this year, I limited the celebrating to only one night.

After the guests started arriving, I tried to order a couple monster pizzas from 3 Brothers.  Alas, they never answered the phone.  After calling a dozen times, and after a few other people tried to no avail, I ordered pizza from some other place.  Though perfectly adequate, this regular pizza is nothing compared to giant 3 Brothers pizza.

After hanging out at the apartment for a while and getting sauced up, we headed out for the Boathouse.  As luck would have it, there was a live band there that night.  Even luckier, it was The E Street Shuffle, a Bruce Springsteen tribute band!  Though I never heard of them before that night, I was impressed.  They did a great job, playing both the hits and the lesser known songs. Read the rest of this post »

Comments: 1 Comment

New Jersey’s Own Governator

Posted September 28, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: politics
Tags: , , , , ,

Our governor can kick your governor’s ass…but ours has the bigger target.

While I don’t think too highly of Chris Christie, New Jersey’s redundantly named governor, he did something pretty badass the other day while throwing his weight around in the national political arena.  At a campaign event for Meg Whitman, who’s running to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor of California, a guy in the audience started heckling the candidate.  You can’t really hear it in the video, but the guy apparently said that Ms. Whitman looks like Mr. Schwarzenegger in a dress.  Ha!

Anyway, Mr. Christie wasn’t about to let some crybaby liberal insult his fellow bloodsucking republican.  He got out of his chair, waddled over to the heckler, and stared him down like an angry buffalo.  He then yelled at the guy, saying how people like him are what’s dividing this country.  You can see the video here.

Now, I could go on rant about how screwed up his policies are, but I’ll hold back for now.  Especially since now I have to live in fear that if I ever say anything bad about him, Chris Christie will stampede his way over to my house, wag his sausage-like finger in my face, and lecture me.  So instead, let’s just think about Arnold Schwarzenegger in a dress:

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Dave Coulier Walks into the Armpit of America…and Stinks!

Posted September 21, 2010 by armpitnj
Categories: Armpit Adventures, Random, Videos
Tags: , , , , ,

At around 4:30 last Tuesday afternoon, a friend informed me that Dave Coulier, best and only known as Joey from Full House, would be performing stand-up at Brookdale Community College. It’s not every day that an actor from what I shamefully admit is one of my favorite shows ever is only a half hour away from me. So I dropped whatever plans I had that night, got a group of friends together, and hustled on over to Brookdale.

Though half of my high school went to Brookdale Community College (the other half, including me, went to Rutgers), I had never been on the campus. It was pretty confusing finding our way around. Though we parked in this big parking lot in the middle of the campus, there weren’t many signs showing which building was which. And once we found the building, we had to walk through its labyrinthine halls to find the room where he was performing.

While I thought the show would have been in an auditorium or gym, it was actually in this small conference room. There were only about 150 seats, many of which remained unfilled. Though the website said it would cost $5 for non-Brookdale students, it turned out to be free. It’s kinda sad. His Full House cohort Bob Saget can sell out auditoriums, but the best Dave Coulier can do is a free show at a college – a community college, no less.

Try to keep your panties on, ladies; it's Dave Coulier!

Having seen the show, that $0 admission fee was definitely worth the price. Actually, I think Dave Coulier should have paid me to be there. Though he had a couple good jokes, most of his routine was pretty lame. For example, he spent a few minutes talking about how his 80-year-old father doesn’t understand computers and then discussed how his teenage son keeps his hand on his crotch and plays video games all day. Such groundbreaking stuff this guy has! He also talked about how Porky Pig wears a vest but no pants. Um, didn’t another comedian make the same joke about Donald Duck? Read the rest of this post »

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