Posted tagged ‘guidos’

« ArmpitNJ.com home page
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Jersey Shore Season 3 Recap

April 9, 2011

I had originally intended to recap each and every episode of MTV’s groundbreaking and highly influential show. However, I gave up half-way through the second season, which took place in Miami despite being called Jersey Shore. I apologize, but I’m sure you understand. As we all know, each episode was pretty much the same. Sammi and Ronnie fight and make up. Vinny, Pauly D, and Mike “The Situation” hook up with as many girls as possible. Angelina starts shit with everyone. J-WOWW dresses like a slut. Snooki does something adorable.

For the third season, the gang was back whoring it up in Seaside Heights. Though the season started out strong, it soon fizzled out. It’s sad, but these people have become caricatures of themselves and no longer seem that interesting. Even sadder, they are all celebrities now and make more in one year than I’ll probably make in my lifetime. All that aside, the show is still pretty entertaining. But if you haven’t been keeping up with it, let me fill you in on who/what went down this season (along with some great artwork by Jennifer Herd of bite.ca).

J-WOWW and Snooki

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?"

Everyone’s favorite pickle-loving best-selling author (check out her first draft!) is still on her quest to find the perfect guido. Though Snooki makes no attempt to hide her feelings for her cast-mate Vinnie, there’s always some kind of drama keeping those two apart. Aside from the early episode where she got arrested for being drunk at the beach, our girl Snooks was pretty low-key this season. (more…)

Categories: Jersey Shore, MTV's "Jersey Shore"
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

ArmpitNJ.com Exclusive: Snooki’s First Draft!

March 6, 2011

In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no one, Snooki didn’t really write her much publicized debut novel, A Shore Thing.  Rather, she employed the use of a ghostwriter to do the grunt work for her.  So how much input did Snooki actually have in the book that credits her as the author?

We now know the answer.  Thanks to an old friend over at Simon & Shuster, I’ve got my hands on the only copy of Snooki’s original manuscript.  And I’m happy to share it with all of you.

Enjoy! (more…)

Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore"
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 3 Comments

Winter in New Jersey Still Sucks!

January 17, 2011

...except during the winter.

About a year ago, I wrote this entry about the rough winter we were having in the Armpit of America. Well, last year’s winter was pretty balmy compared to this year. In that entry, I bitched about us getting two feet of snow last year. That might has well have been two inches compared to the three feet we got a couple of weeks ago.

Yes, three feet of snow. None of which has really melted yet. Almost every single day since that major snowfall on December 26 has been at or below freezing. And the little amount that actually does melt or evaporate just gets replaced by a new snowfall, such as the one going on right now. Luckily for me, I work from home. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the millions of New Jerseyans who have to drive to work on already shitty roads made shittier by this horrible weather.

Despite the weather, I’ve still been having fun here at the Jersey Shore. One of the good things about this winter weather is that it keeps all the guidos from North Jersey and New York up where they belong. For instance, I had quite a pleasant, guido-less night at the Boathouse on Saturday. As nice as it is when it’s less crowded, it was weird seeing the bar as empty as it was. Either way, it was a fun night. The live music was provided by Daddy Pop, one of the regular cover bands that populate the Shore and the band that played at my sister’s wedding. They were pretty good, and I commend them for only playing one of these overplayed cover band songs. It was American Girl for those interested. (more…)

Categories: Bars, Belmar, Food, Jersey Shore, Music
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Snooki’s Book Doesn’t Suck

January 12, 2011

I actually enjoyed it. Really.

I recently read Snooki’s writing debut, A Shore Thing. And it was a lot better than I ever would have imagined. Snooki[’s ghostwriter] did a wonderful job of capturing the essence (beer and sweat) of a summer at the Jersey Shore.

The novel revolves around Gia, a short, slutty guidette (can you guess who she is modeled after?) and her cousin Bella. Bella seems to be a combo of Snooki’s Jersey Shore castmates J-WOWW and Sammi. She has implants, wears skimpy shirts, and knows how to fight (a la J-WOWW) yet is pretty naïve and has bad taste in men (like Sammi).

Snooki[’s ghostwriter] does a decent job at telling the story of the cousins who leave their home in Brooklyn to spend a month at the Jersey Shore – Seaside Heights to be exact. We see all of their troubles and triumphs, from searching for summer jobs to hunting for “Italian gorilla juiceheads” to hook up with. Regarding jobs, Gia secures employment at a tanning salon, and for some reason, upon being hired, gives the arm of the couch in the waiting room a lap dance. Seriously. Meanwhile, Bella gets hired at a gym to lead dance classes. (more…)

Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore", Reviews
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Snooki Wrote a Book!

December 6, 2010

Excerpt from the book: "See Snooki. See Snooki hump. Hump Snooki hump."

Snooki is many things to many people.  She’s a reality show star and a YouTube star.  She’s a lover and a fighter.  She’s the guido lusting, gorilla humping, pickle sucking object of my obsession.  And now Snooki is adding another hat to her wardrobe (aside from that stupid Stetson bejeweled with her name on it).  You see, Snooki is now an author.

Joining the ranks of other reality show stars turned authors, like Kate Gosselin, Nicole Richie, and Jersey Shore castmate and former hookup Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, Snooki is officially an author – a novelist to be more specific.

The book in question [the question being whether she really wrote it or not], is titled A Shore Thing.  Get it?  She became famous on “Jersey Shore” and then took a popular saying and substituted the word “sure” with the homonym of “shore”!  Such a genius this girl is!  Though this isn’t really Snooki’s first attempt at writing.  Remember that letter she wrote to Sammi telling her that Ronnie was cheating on her?  Well going by that, we can expect plenty of grammatical errors that even a third grader wouldn’t make.

So what is this book about? (more…)

Categories: MTV's "Jersey Shore"
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 4 Comments

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »