Posted tagged ‘New Jersey’

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My Latest Obsession: Teresa Giudice

June 21, 2011

Move over Snooki, there’s a new ghetto Italian bitch in my life. Her name is Teresa Giudice (pronounced Jew-dice), from Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” If you’ve never watched that show, you’re missing out. It’s a lot like “Jersey Shore,” only the episodes actually have plots rather than the regular formula of drink, fight, hook up, and repeat. I only started watching Real Housewives a couple of weeks ago, but I wish I’d been there all along. Once you start watching, I’m sure you’ll be just as intrigued as I am by the obvious star of the show, Ms. Giudice.

Just like Snooki, Teresa is quite interesting to look at. While she shares Snooki’s orange skin and big, dark hair, Teresa’s got something that little Snooki doesn’t. Crazy eyes. Seriously. Look at those things:

They’re like two hockey pucks so far apart it seems like they’re trying to escape her face. Indeed, it’s those very eyes that have me so smitten. It’s certainly not the rest of her body – her skin is so orange and wrinkly, she looks much older than she really is. And it’s not her personality. Teresa comes across as a self-centered and ignorant bitch. But there’s something about those eyes. I guess it’s the whole train wreck analogy – they’re so ugly that I can’t look away. And for some reason, she puts so much makeup around her eyes that you can’t help but be drawn to them anyway. (more…)

Categories: NJ Personalities
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Comments: 17 Comments

A Taste of Jersey in a Can

March 9, 2011

A couple of weeks ago, I was at New Jersey’s mega farm store Delicious Orchards. And if you’ve never heard of it or been there, you’ll want to read this entry I wrote last year. Anyway, in between crates of vegetables I’ve never heard of, and countless varieties of vegetables I have, there was a table covered in giant cans of tomatoes. But not just regular tomatoes; these were Jersey tomatoes!

Made by Fattoria Fresca, the can has the official Jersey Fresh logo on it. Though, sadly, the term Jersey Fresh has been co-opted by the likes of Pauly D and the Situation to describe their beauty regimens. Although I thought that such a gourmet product would only be available in a gourmet store like Delicious Orchards, I actually saw them at my local Foodtown.

Now it’s well known that New Jersey produces the best tomatoes of any state. It’s not called the Armpit of America Garden State for nothing! Everyone knows that nothing compares to the taste of a fresh Jersey tomato, but we’re still a few months away from the summer bounty.  So, we’ll have to get them in can form for now.  I was a bit skeptical about how they would taste from a can. After all, don’t all canned tomatoes taste the same? Well, I was about to find out. (more…)

Categories: Food, Random
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Comments: 4 Comments

Winter in New Jersey Still Sucks!

January 17, 2011

...except during the winter.

About a year ago, I wrote this entry about the rough winter we were having in the Armpit of America. Well, last year’s winter was pretty balmy compared to this year. In that entry, I bitched about us getting two feet of snow last year. That might has well have been two inches compared to the three feet we got a couple of weeks ago.

Yes, three feet of snow. None of which has really melted yet. Almost every single day since that major snowfall on December 26 has been at or below freezing. And the little amount that actually does melt or evaporate just gets replaced by a new snowfall, such as the one going on right now. Luckily for me, I work from home. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the millions of New Jerseyans who have to drive to work on already shitty roads made shittier by this horrible weather.

Despite the weather, I’ve still been having fun here at the Jersey Shore. One of the good things about this winter weather is that it keeps all the guidos from North Jersey and New York up where they belong. For instance, I had quite a pleasant, guido-less night at the Boathouse on Saturday. As nice as it is when it’s less crowded, it was weird seeing the bar as empty as it was. Either way, it was a fun night. The live music was provided by Daddy Pop, one of the regular cover bands that populate the Shore and the band that played at my sister’s wedding. They were pretty good, and I commend them for only playing one of these overplayed cover band songs. It was American Girl for those interested. (more…)

Categories: Bars, Belmar, Food, Jersey Shore, Music
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I Wrote a Guest Blog!

January 3, 2011

I was recently asked to write a guest post for the travel blog, onetravelbloggers.com.  I was told I could write about literally anything.  Since there are so many places in the Armpit of America that I could write about, I couldn’t pick just one.  So, I decided to write about New Jersey as a whole. Though other bloggers have written about more exotic locales, like India, Thailand, and Romania, I think mine holds up pretty well!

Without further ado, here is my article, “New Jersey – An Unlikely Tourist Destination”.

Categories: Best of NJ, Personal
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Chris Christie Is Still A Scumbag!

December 18, 2010

Governor Chris “William Taft” Christie

I know I haven’t updated in a while, so this will be a quick and easy update. And what could be easier than making fun of Chris Christie, our double-named, double-stuffed governor?

So let’s take a look at some of the things he’s done lately:

He decided to cancel the building of a new rail tunnel linking New Jersey to Manhattan. This project had been in the works for a long time and had plenty of potential benefits. It would put more trains on the ground, lessoning the burden of the overcrowded trains we have now. With more trains, there would be less people driving, helping with that whole climate change deal. And the new stations and stops and whatnot would draw more people to live in the state. (Yeah, we already have more than enough, but they would all be in North Jersey, so it wouldn’t bother me.)

Now, I know there is a somewhat valid reason for why he canceled the project – it was turning out to cost way more than expected. Still, isn’t that the case with any major undertaking? And wouldn’t the benefits of building that tunnel eventually make up for the extra costs? Whatever. I guess that’s the price to pay for having a fiscally conservative governor.  Or so he claims to be fiscally conservative.

A couple months ago, it was discovered that someone in his administration made a tiny clerical error that caused New Jersey to miss out on $400 million in grant money for our education system. Yes. New Jersey lost the opportunity to add not $4 million, not $40 million, but $400 million to help educate our children. So what does Chris Christie do? He blames Obama. It wasn’t until video evidence emerged of someone from the Obama administration pointing out that they were missing a page of the application that Christie admitted responsibility. Though he fired the education commissioner who made the guffaw, many of us were wishing he’d fire himself. Fat chance. (more…)

Categories: politics
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